June 7&8 Days 14 and 15; Deut 7-Deut 34

I mentioned in the last posting that my cousin was here visiting with her two children for this weekend. Her two children and our two kids played together all weekend. For the most part they got along really well and had a great time. However I did learn a very valuable parenting lesson that was reinforced through the reading the last two days. It is all about expectations.

All too often we want people or others to behave in a certain way for whatever reason or another. Ultimately the way we behave reflects the way we believe. As parents we want our children to exhibit patience, kindness, thoughtfulness towards others, sharing, respect, etc... these are all honorable characteristics. Children don't just behave this way they must be taught to behave this way. And to teach them to behave this way takes patience. However, even with the best training and teaching, when left to their own, glimpses of our fallen nature show through. Fighting with each other over toys, hitting each other to get their way, etc... And we as parents need to hold them accountable for their actions.

This weekend we found ourselves exhausted. And as I was reflecting on our exhaustion, I realized it was because we were constantly correcting the children. We told them know. We promised punishment. We threatened. We bribed. We did everything we could think of to hold them accountable. Yet it just wore us down.

However, sometimes we just need to re-establish the expectations for behavior prior to turning them loose. For example, when their cousins come for a visit! This just ensures they don't forget what is expected. We also must remind them of the consequences for their disobedience prior to any infraction. Why must we do this? Well it is really difficult to hold them accountable for their actions if they didn't know what was expected up front. And we need to take away the excuse that they didn't know what was expected or what would happen if they disobeyed. Ultimately it is their choice to behave and follow the rules, but you must make sure your children know the rules and the boundaries.

This weekend we forgot to do this occasionally. So the kids were kids. They would play together good for awhile and then they would start fighting. Or perhaps they all four would collectively get into mischief. Once I came into the playroom only to find every single toy they had emptied from its container and strewn around the room. Something they clearly knew was against the rules but chose to ignore in the heat of the moment and lack of supervision.

What does this have to do with the Bible? Well in the last two day's reading we see God preparing to deliver his people from the desert into the promised land. We see God -through Moses - reminding the Israelites of the boundaries for their inheritance. He knew that unless they were reminded, they would likely forget - or ignore - the rules when they were given a land of plenty. We see Moses reminding them not only of where they came from but what rules God has placed on them to live according to his principles. He further reminds them of the promises and blessings for obedience and warns them of the curses for disobedience. Ultimately however, it would be their choice whether to obey or not. We see toward the end of Deuteronomy that God has already predicted Israel's rebellion. He knows that they will choose not to follow Him. Yet because He is a just God, He plans to hold them accountable for their actions. And He can do that because He has already lined out for them the promises for obedience and the curses for disobedience. But God is not just interested in their behavior. He is much more interested in what their behavior reflects... and that is their inward commitment to Him... or lack thereof.

And isn't this a lesson for all of us as parents? We don't just want to train the behavior we want to mold their inward attitudes to make a commitment to their Heavenly Father. But how can we hold them accountable for their actions without clearly communicating the expectations up front?