July 15-20; Days 52-57

Is 41 - Jere 47

If you're reading this its obvious I took some time off from posting on my blog. I'm still current on the reading but between vacation schedule and a generally poor attitude lately I was just not making time to put up a posting. Besides this content is especially difficult for me to understand. In my last posting I purposed to stop worrying about the future to enjoy the present... but here in the Prophets, its all about the future - doom and gloom sprinkled with some amazing promises.

Sure, verse by verse there are some amazing promises that God has used to speak to me during this reading. But as I'm reading I'm trying to decide what is the macro picture here? What is God trying to tell me? Blessings for obedience and curses for disobedience. Maybe that is it?

What I find myself wondering the most is what would it have been like to be either Isaiah or Jeremiah. Particularly Jeremiah. We often quote the verse from Jeremiah that tells us God knew us before he formed us in the womb. It makes us feel important and wanted - and it should. But think about Jeremiah. God knew that his life's purpose was to bring bad news to people and share with them a message that they wouldn't obey- all before he was created in the womb. We later see Jeremiah questioning why he was even born... why hadn't he been killed in the womb? Something sadistic perhaps, but I can identify with his pain in the present attitude I've been carrying around.

Let me be a little more transparent than I've been... I'm the only remaining son of a long generation of farmers. Yet to date, I've chosen not to return to the farm. Yet there is something inside of me that wants the lifestyle but not sure that I'm cut out to be a full time farmer. Each year that passes I feel like a bigger and bigger disappointment to my parents. I enjoy my present job and lifestyle and am not ready to give it up for something uncertain and unknown. So there are many times when I've agonized with God... why me? Why did you chose this for me? Why don't you just make it clear to me what I'm supposed to do? Maybe my thoughts haven't ever gone as far as Jeremiah in thinking "Why was I ever born?" yet I have been having a bit of a pity party lately. The consequence of this is that I've not been the husband or father that God wants me to be. I'm not being obedient to the blessings He has given me because of worry for the things that I've not yet known.

So the life of Jeremiah had to be tough... constantly receiving messages from God that is not popular with the culture and even when delivered didn't see much change in the culture... he was even punished for his messages. My life is nothing compared to that. Yet I'm not being obedient and am not being the leader in my family.

God knew me before I was born and knew the struggles I would face. He knew it would take those struggles to make me more like Him. It is my choice to face the challenges as opportunities to bring Him glory or to have a pity party. If Jeremiah could persist in his challenges... so can I!