June 12, Day 19 Judges 15-1 Samuel 2:11

After finishing Judges I realize that my post yesterday was even more poignant. Reading Sampson's story only reinforced the observations that I made on leadership.

The story of Ruth and Naomi always stirs me. The question I found myself pondering today was what did Ruth give up in order to follow Naomi? She gave up everything. Her family, her land, her gods, etc... all for what? Her love and devotion towards Naomi. But what attracted her to Naomi? Sure she had a relationship with her because of their common love for a man. That alone was a bond...but peeking around the corner a little bit and adding some speculation into the reading, I suppose there was something about Naomi's faith that attracted Ruth to her. They'd both just experienced quite a tragedy. Elimelech and his two sons all died. That left Ruth and Orpah without a father-in-law, brother-in-law, and a husband. They saw Naomi through the loss of two sons and a husband. Sure she was greiving - or she would not have told others to call her Mara - but perhaps she was also clinging to her faith. Perhaps she was still praising her God in the storm. She was showing the next generation what it meant to trust in God.

Am I doing the same? What am I modeling to my children about God's faithfulness. Am I still praising him in the storm... or do I jump to grumbling? Am I showing my kids that God can only be praised when we get what we want? OR am I showing them that God can be praised ALWAYS because His will is sovereign and His plan perfect. I'm afraid to be quite transparent that my faith shows my children that I praise Him only in the sunny weather and not in the storms.

The story of Hannah always grips me. I know God has given me a special place for this story in our family because of our own struggle with infertility. I can so relate to Hannah's tears and how she must have felt as her rival chided her about not having children. And how her husband's attempts to comfort her only brought her more grief. There is a place in a mother's heart that only a child can fill. Unfortunately I know what it was like to try to comfort my wife with some of the exact same words that Elkanah said to Hannah... am I not enough even if God never gives us a child. And that only forces your wife into saying the obvious answer to her... "no." In fact this story means so much to me I'd consider naming our daughter Hannah if it weren't for a family member who'd named one of their previous dogs the same name!

What grips me most about this story is Hanah's prayer after Samuel is born. Her song of praise reads so fresh and so true. After God has blessed you in an area where you've relinquished complete control to Him, the praise is so sweet and so raw and so real. We will forever view children as the most precious blessing God could give us because we never knew if we'd have children in our family. I wish everyone had to experience infertility just for a moment - so they whole world would view children as a joy and as a blessing rather than a scourge or burden. Even well meaning parents in our culture decide that they can only "afford" a set number of children at the same time they've convinced themselves that satellite TV is a necessity. Something in that tradeoff seems contrary to God's plan for His people.

Yet there is a part of Hannah's song of praise that stands out to me... 1 Sam 2: 9b-10 records, "It is not by strength that one prevails; those who oppose the Lord will be shattered. He will thunder against them from heaven; the Lord will judge the ends of the earth."

I prayed for strength to endure many times... as recently as this morning. But it is not by strength that we prevail. It is by God's Grace that we prevail. Where have I opposed the Lord? Where am I still doing it? Only by His grace do I still endure!!