June 4 - Day 11; Num 8-Num 20

Recently at work, I received what I deemed to be unjustified feedback. It was based on perceptions and not on reality. Yet the reality exists that if you object to feedback of any sort, you develop yet another stigma that you are not open to feedback and are difficult to work with. So needless to say I was a bit discouraged in my pursuit to make a difference in my workplace and for the people I've been privileged to lead.

That is why in today's reading I can so easily identify with Moses. Here he has been giving his all for the Israelites. Moses has been talking and walking with God and enjoying some fabulous intimacy with Him. Moses has literally been risking His life and asking God to forgive and have mercy on the stiff necked Israelites. Time and time again, regardless of how Moses has helped the people, they complain. We don't have enough food... here's Manna... we don't have any meat.... here's some quail. We don't have any water... and on and on it goes. Until we see Moses finally start to break. Num 11: 11 we see Moses asking the Lord, "Why have you brought this trouble on your servant? What have I done to displease you that you may put the burden of these people on me?"

When I read these lines it was almost like I was speaking them myself. I feel the same way right now. I used to view my job as a blessing and a great pleasure to serve the Lord in this way. Now I see it more as a burden. It seems no matter how good I do or how hard I work, good just isn't good enough. The usual, "atta boys" aren't flowing quite as freely. The informal pats on the back aren't there. And yet, it seems as if I've been working as hard as I have in quite some time. I'm sure this is how Moses felt. Moses goes on to argue with the Lord, "I cannot carry all of these people by myself; the burden is too heavy for me. If this is how you are going to treat me, put me to death right now..."

Then later on in the same passage we see the Lord answering back... vs 23... "The Lord answered Moses, 'Is the Lord's arm too short? You will now see whether or not what I say will come true for you."

This is the truth I needed to hear today. How quickly I can become short-term focused when I receive short-term feedback. I've felt the Lord leading me and equipping me in this role. The decisions I've attempted to make, I've also attempted to seek His will on them. Granted - probably not enough though. Yet, when I become the focus of the feedback and it is not all positive my viewpoints turn from blessings to burdens. I've only looked at the length of my arm to provide. I've neglected to look at the length of the Lord's arm to provide. Lord, help me realize that you are the one in control. I cannot expect the world to recognize you, nor give me praise because I'm a God-follower. Yet I know that your truth will prevail. I will trust you for the results in my team and in my family. The focus is not me... but to your glory.

Now let me again project forward. The end of today's reading culminates in the death of Aaron and that the Lord has told Moses and Aaron both that they will not enter the Promised Land themselves because of their rebellion against the Lord at Meribah. Could it be that the start of Moses' rebellion came from the fact that he took his eyes off of the Lord and started putting them on himself way back when the people's grumbling got him down? Let this be a lesson for me as well. If I let the grumbling take my eyes of my eternal purpose, I will loose the blessing of seeing the harvest You've called me to cultivate. Let me find joy in all circumstances especially in those that don't seem very joyous at the time like receiving unmerited feedback. Let me trust in You at all times as my source of joy and provision - knowing that you will deliver your promises to the faithful.