July 6,7,8 - Day 43,44,45

Psalm 69-150

OK, so if you're checking in today, you're obviously going to see that our recent trip to visit family has thrown my normal schedule for a loop and I'm back posting for several days. For the most part, I've kept up on my reading, I've just not been going the extra step to post my thoughts... so for today I'm going to transcribe the thoughts I've scrawled in the margins of my Bible....

Importance of recording and re-reading the stories of God's provision:
I wrote this down as I was reading about the various ways God has blessed the nation of Israel and the many things the psalmist has learned from these blessings. I reflected on the purpose of the Psalms. Most were written as a way of praising God or conversing with Him. Yet many have been used over the generations to teach each other before the word was written and mass produced. By setting them to music and committing them to memory, travelling "storytellers" were able to relay these gifts of praise to everyone around them and help the generations to come remember God's provisions and sources of blessings.

The application to me is to ask the question of myself, "How good am I doing at recording and re-reading the story of God's blessing and provision for our family?" Many times we praise God in prayer for the blessing as a family but we don't continue to reflect on it - especially in times of hardship - for us to recognize God is always faithful and He is always there.

Ps 86:1 "Hear, O Lord, and answer me, for I am poor and needy."
It feels good to say this... both because I admit I am poor and needy but also because I like to tell God what to do... Hear me and answer me... Yet when I reflect on when I've said this the most it is when I'm listening the least. God is answering me but not just in the way I wanted to hear Him answer. The answer I want is not always the answer I get, but it is always what I need.

Source of so many praise songs
Just the other day as Nicole was completing her reading she remarked to me what I had just been thinking as well... it was how interesting it is that we can recognize songs today sung on the radio that have taken the words directly from the Psalms. There is no new words to the Bible, just new applications daily. Even today, his word brings comfort to those who read it and those who hear it. How thankful I am for talented artists who record these words to music... If you haven't already , tune into your local Christian radio and see how many you recognize!

Ps 127:2 In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat and for he grants sleep to those he loves.
Lately, I've not been very disciplined with my time. It is summer and I feel like I deserve some rest. Yet I also recognize that I get tired easily when I do work. I toil for food to eat... (well maybe I'm not actually producing the food, but I'm earning a paycheck to pay for it) ... and that makes me tired. I keep thinking if I can just sleep in a little later then I will have the rest I need to make it through tomorrow. What a lie this is. This Psalm reminds me of it... HE GRANTS SLEEP TO THOSE HE LOVES.... I can't do it on my own.

Ps 138:8 The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; Your love O Lord, endures forever - do not abandon the works of your hands
When I read this verse it spoke to my soul in this present hour. I just returned from an extended weekend with my family. I attended our county fair and watched my nephew exhibit his 4-H animals for the first time in his 4-H career. It reminded me of my "previous live" and all of the nostalgia came flooding over me. It was a huge part of my life. In many regards, showing livestock and 4-H helped form the person I am today for good and for bad. I reminisced with old friends and acquaintances as I watched the youngsters compete. I reflected on the life I used to have with the life I currently have and how different they are. I grew up in a rural environment with "friends" across the county. Now I live in a suburban environment and have difficulty finding friends whom I stay in contact with more than once a month. I live closer to people today and am more connected, but they know less about me and I about them. Complicating this whole picture are the difficult questions I get when I visit with people who knew me in my "previous life" about when I'm going to "come home" to work on the farm... or when my kids are going to be in 4-H. These are all things I would like to be able to answer. In many regards they are only difficult because they force me to deal with them rather than being able to distract myself with something more short term as a sort of anaesthetic. These are all questions that fit with my previous life but I don't know how they fit in my present life. I would never trade what I have now for what I had then... but I would like to make the two merge somehow. Yet in my own temporal mindset, I can't see the bigger picture. As I read this scripture today I was reminded what His purpose is for me.... like we tell our kids every night... my purpose is to bring Glory to God ... and He will use whatever situation he pleases to achieve this purpose in my life. I get hung up with the momentary life and confuse this with my life's purpose... when in reality my purpose in life is to achieve His purpose. It doesn't make my present struggle any easier right now, nor does it make my feelings of nostalgia evaporate. Yet, it does help me readjust my perspective which is always good from time to time to keep looking up for direction.