- The house remodeling is nearly complete but now there are the fix-up projects like hanging blinds, fixing drywall, painting rooms etc. This has consumed my time lately. Correction, I've let it consume my time lately.
- The kids got to spend a few days with my parents last week. They thoroughly enjoyed themselves. They swam with cousins, took tractor rides, played with kittens, and were completely spoiled by Nana and Papa's love.
- Oh, and did I say my wife is 8.99 months pregnant and ready to go into labor at any moment, so our plans consist of 2 hour increments as we assess the landscape and potential for baby's arrival at any time.
So amid these distractions I noticed several things happening. When the kids came home they were not happy and jovial. They were tired, grouchy and irritable. Sometimes they were downright hateful in the things they would say and do towards us. I was also frustrated with my lack of pro activity as a father and as a husband and the fact that these house projects had kept me from giving my best to those I love the most. Then when I did attempt any project it was taking about 2 times longer than it should have and inevitably causing me to question my skills (or lack thereof) as a handyman.
I start hearing the voices again. (No I'm not bi-polar...) You know those voices. The ones that whisper in your ear "You're not good enough." or "You're a terrible father." or "You'll never be able to fix this problem." or "Any other man could figure out this issue, why can't you." Only a few minutes into this and I had convinced myself that I was a failure as a father, a husband, a manager, an employee, a Christian, and as a son. Ultimately I was defeated and lethargic. Amazing how quickly this happens, isn't' it.
I chose to get up early the next morning and go for what I call a "perspective walk." These walks are not for physical health but for spiritual health. On these walks I go slowly around our neighborhood and pause in front of random houses or mailboxes. I ponder what goes on behind those walls. Do others have these thoughts of self-doubts? Is this marriage in trouble? Are these kids in crisis? Does this household know Jesus? As I ponder these things I start to realize we live in hurting world that needs Jesus. My focus becomes others and less about self. When this happens I realize I doubt myself less and am able to discern the lies going on in my head.
Yet something unique happened on this walk. Between houses and between mailboxes as I walked the sun peaked up over the horizon and the most brilliant colors started penetrating the otherwise black sky. As I watched this masterpiece unfold - seemingly just for me - I heard that stirring in my spirit that only the Holy Spirit can create - and it said... "Beware. Warfare is all around you. Satan is trying to take you down. I will protect you. But you need to be vigilant for you and for your family."
Oh friends, warfare is all around us. Grouchy kids. Irritable spouses. Financial problems. All of these can be orchestrated for the purposes of taking our focus away from Jesus and from others. When this happens we place it all on ourselves and ultimately we - as a body- become tired and lethargic.
Join me in recognizing it for what it is. It is not "life" as many of us commonly refer to it. It is Satan and his attempts at distracting us from the Joy life is meant to bring. Join me in praying for protection from the warfare and for the joy of life to return to you as it did to me through a ray of sunshine!
Postlogue: The next morning I went for a similar walk. But this one was for prayer. I specifically wanted to lift up my young son in prayer as he has really been the recipient of much of the warfare. We could easily say it is because he is 4 and that is what 4 year olds do... but I know him better. God has given him more potential than this. After the reminder that warfare is all around us I pleaded with the Holy Spirit to provide protection from this for the next 24 hours so we could see the difference. And amazingly - and predictably- the next 24 hours were one of seeing joy again in our little boy's life. Shouldn't we be praying this daily? Won't you join me?
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