If you are reading this and seeing the amazing gap between July 27 and now you'll realize I haven't done very good about keeping up with blog posts. Something about international travel, jetlag, returning to the routine AND preparing for Baby #3 has just not afforded me the mindspace I needed.
Reflect on that last comment... how often to you find yourself saying things like this? I once heard a speaker talking about economics... and he was talking about the shift in consumerism in the postmodern era. His phrase was "people afford what they value." I suppose this captures my heart a little more lately.
You see, I've been keeping up on my reading. I've been doing it religiously. I value completing this goal in the 90 days. Yet, I haven't been doing my reading as a means for relationship - of finding Jesus in my daily time in the Word. If I haven't afforded the mindspace to find a relationship with Him, then I suppose it would mean that I don't value a relationship with Him. And how harsh does that sound?
Harsh but true... lately I've been flying on my own managing most priorities. Yet I always seem to be behind and tired. I don't feel proactive at all nor do I really feel productive. I'm sure it is because I left Him out of it.
A friend recently loaned me a Book on CD which I've listened to intensely over the last few days. It has really helped me realize this void in my life and how easily it was to quit looking for relationship and fall into the way of "religion." I highly recommend it...
http://www.amazon.com/Shack-Special-Hardcover-William-Young/dp/0964729245/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1218570588&sr=8-1
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Sunday, July 27, 2008
July 26-27; Days 63-64
Daniel 1-Hosea 14
The book of Daniel contains many things... stories from the past that provide encouragement and visions of the future that scare the pants off of me...
I was reading of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego in the fiery furnace and realized it is a not just a story. It is a picture of what is happening today in our world. We are all walking around a fiery furnace. We've been put here because of our rebellion. We've rebelled against God and made some bad choices resulting in Satan's domain being increased in our everyday world. Yet the challenge is because the heat is slowly constantly being turned up we don't realize it is getting hotter and hotter nor the danger we are in. But just as the three men were protected by a 4th we too are protected by God's grace and the Holy Spirit with us today. Yet we cannot see our protector. The fact that we aren't burned by the sin run rampant around is is evidence enough that He exists. He has not yet given us completely over to our own selfish ambition. He is still walking around with us... and not a hair on our head should be burned as long as He is still present.
Later in Daniel 9 when I read Daniel's prayer I began to weep. "We have sinned and done wrong. We have been wicked and have rebelled; we have turned away from your commands and laws.... " (Dan 9:5) Is this not like today. Should this not be my prayer everyday? "Now, our God, hear the prayers and petitions of your servant. For your sake, O Lord, look with favor on your desolate sanctuary. Give ear, O God, and hear; open your eyes and see the desolation...."(Dan 9:17) Let this be not just a written prayer, but the cry of my heart today and always.
I mentioned earlier that parts of Daniel scare me. I know God will provide and He is in control. However, I don't claim to understand all of what Daniel's vision contains. Yet I do read that there will be lots of suffering and strife. This is what scares me. Daniel 12 records some of Daniels thoughts which are my own as I read this.... "I heard but I did not understand, so I asked, "My lord what will be the outcome of this?"" (Dan 12:8) "From the time that the daily sacrifice is abolished and the abomination that causes desolation is set up, there will be 1290 days. Blessed is the one who waits for and reaches the end of the 1335 days. AS for you, go your way till the end. You will rest, and then at the end of the days you will rise to receive your alloted inheritance." (Dan 12:11-13). Press on my friend. Strive to reach the end and we'll receive our inheritances together.
The book of Daniel contains many things... stories from the past that provide encouragement and visions of the future that scare the pants off of me...
I was reading of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego in the fiery furnace and realized it is a not just a story. It is a picture of what is happening today in our world. We are all walking around a fiery furnace. We've been put here because of our rebellion. We've rebelled against God and made some bad choices resulting in Satan's domain being increased in our everyday world. Yet the challenge is because the heat is slowly constantly being turned up we don't realize it is getting hotter and hotter nor the danger we are in. But just as the three men were protected by a 4th we too are protected by God's grace and the Holy Spirit with us today. Yet we cannot see our protector. The fact that we aren't burned by the sin run rampant around is is evidence enough that He exists. He has not yet given us completely over to our own selfish ambition. He is still walking around with us... and not a hair on our head should be burned as long as He is still present.
Later in Daniel 9 when I read Daniel's prayer I began to weep. "We have sinned and done wrong. We have been wicked and have rebelled; we have turned away from your commands and laws.... " (Dan 9:5) Is this not like today. Should this not be my prayer everyday? "Now, our God, hear the prayers and petitions of your servant. For your sake, O Lord, look with favor on your desolate sanctuary. Give ear, O God, and hear; open your eyes and see the desolation...."(Dan 9:17) Let this be not just a written prayer, but the cry of my heart today and always.
I mentioned earlier that parts of Daniel scare me. I know God will provide and He is in control. However, I don't claim to understand all of what Daniel's vision contains. Yet I do read that there will be lots of suffering and strife. This is what scares me. Daniel 12 records some of Daniels thoughts which are my own as I read this.... "I heard but I did not understand, so I asked, "My lord what will be the outcome of this?"" (Dan 12:8) "From the time that the daily sacrifice is abolished and the abomination that causes desolation is set up, there will be 1290 days. Blessed is the one who waits for and reaches the end of the 1335 days. AS for you, go your way till the end. You will rest, and then at the end of the days you will rise to receive your alloted inheritance." (Dan 12:11-13). Press on my friend. Strive to reach the end and we'll receive our inheritances together.
July 24-25; Days 61-62
Ezequiel 24-48
Let me set the context for this posting. I just arrived in Australia for a business trip. A grueling 24 travel experience to get here... but I'm here safely. It seems no matter when I travel some of my best "thinking time" comes on the plane as I'm aware that I'm apart from my family and will not be rejoining them soon. It causes me to be self-reflective and sometimes somewhat morose. This travel experience was no different.
Then I turned to the Bible to for comfort and wisdom as I pursued the reading for these days....
Wrong passages to look for comfort from. Ezequiel receives visions and pronounces judgement on all of Israels enemies and neighbors. Their waywardness and treatment of the nation of Israel have caused God to pronounce their demise. Yet toward the end of Ezequiel I see the promises toward Israel. Despite their wickedness and waywardness, God still promises to bring them back together and to protect them despite their past. He calls them - through Ezequiel - back to their roots... the division of the land, the calling of Levites as priests, instructions for the temple... etc.
What I gain from this is the steadfastness of our Creator. No matter where we may go, He is always there. He never left Israel. They moved. Their suffering and depravity was a result of their choices. Not God's will. Everything He did, he did with the expressed purposes of bringing them back to Him. Is it not the same today? When we feel afraid or are experiencing suffering is it because we've moved away from God? And perhaps it is because no matter what, He is acting - even in the midst of suffering - to move closer to him.
So While I'm now about 9000 miles from home - on the other side of the earth from my family I have moved. But God has not. As my heart aches to be reunited with my family this momentary suffering is enabling me to get closer to God to feel his presence in a way that I haven't been able to in the past few weeks. On the plane I actually shed some tears as I was reading this. Realizing that - though my suffering wasn't the same as the suffering that Israel went through - it is still real and God is still talking to me. I began talking a back to Him and what do you know... I feel his presence again. Even 9000 miles from "home." Our God is a great big God who cares for us in itty bitty ways!
Let me set the context for this posting. I just arrived in Australia for a business trip. A grueling 24 travel experience to get here... but I'm here safely. It seems no matter when I travel some of my best "thinking time" comes on the plane as I'm aware that I'm apart from my family and will not be rejoining them soon. It causes me to be self-reflective and sometimes somewhat morose. This travel experience was no different.
Then I turned to the Bible to for comfort and wisdom as I pursued the reading for these days....
Wrong passages to look for comfort from. Ezequiel receives visions and pronounces judgement on all of Israels enemies and neighbors. Their waywardness and treatment of the nation of Israel have caused God to pronounce their demise. Yet toward the end of Ezequiel I see the promises toward Israel. Despite their wickedness and waywardness, God still promises to bring them back together and to protect them despite their past. He calls them - through Ezequiel - back to their roots... the division of the land, the calling of Levites as priests, instructions for the temple... etc.
What I gain from this is the steadfastness of our Creator. No matter where we may go, He is always there. He never left Israel. They moved. Their suffering and depravity was a result of their choices. Not God's will. Everything He did, he did with the expressed purposes of bringing them back to Him. Is it not the same today? When we feel afraid or are experiencing suffering is it because we've moved away from God? And perhaps it is because no matter what, He is acting - even in the midst of suffering - to move closer to him.
So While I'm now about 9000 miles from home - on the other side of the earth from my family I have moved. But God has not. As my heart aches to be reunited with my family this momentary suffering is enabling me to get closer to God to feel his presence in a way that I haven't been able to in the past few weeks. On the plane I actually shed some tears as I was reading this. Realizing that - though my suffering wasn't the same as the suffering that Israel went through - it is still real and God is still talking to me. I began talking a back to Him and what do you know... I feel his presence again. Even 9000 miles from "home." Our God is a great big God who cares for us in itty bitty ways!
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
July 21-23; Days 58,59,60
Lamentations 1- Ezequiel 23
Lord, as I move into reading Ezequiel , I reminded (and encouraged) by the fact that you grant us visions for the future. Certainly as in Ezequiel's case we cannot always understand what these visions mean nor can we accurately describe them using mere human language. Thus when I read these passages I can't always understand exactly what you've revealed to Ezequiel.
My present "funk" that I'm in is because of a lack of vision. I feel that I'm just wandering in life right now. I'm not really enjoying my present occupation like I used to. As I prepare to go on an international trip for work, my heart aches for leaving my family. I don't feel as if I'm living up to my role as a father or husband in being the priest of our household. These things leave me susceptible for believing the lies Satan is throwing at me. My precious wife recently reminded me of that.
Lord help recreate in me a vision for how you want me to serve you. Though I may not understand it nor accurately be able to describe it, please... make it unmistakable that it is from you - and only you. . . how I need and want to hear from you now.
Lord, as I move into reading Ezequiel , I reminded (and encouraged) by the fact that you grant us visions for the future. Certainly as in Ezequiel's case we cannot always understand what these visions mean nor can we accurately describe them using mere human language. Thus when I read these passages I can't always understand exactly what you've revealed to Ezequiel.
My present "funk" that I'm in is because of a lack of vision. I feel that I'm just wandering in life right now. I'm not really enjoying my present occupation like I used to. As I prepare to go on an international trip for work, my heart aches for leaving my family. I don't feel as if I'm living up to my role as a father or husband in being the priest of our household. These things leave me susceptible for believing the lies Satan is throwing at me. My precious wife recently reminded me of that.
Lord help recreate in me a vision for how you want me to serve you. Though I may not understand it nor accurately be able to describe it, please... make it unmistakable that it is from you - and only you. . . how I need and want to hear from you now.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
July 15-20; Days 52-57
Is 41 - Jere 47
If you're reading this its obvious I took some time off from posting on my blog. I'm still current on the reading but between vacation schedule and a generally poor attitude lately I was just not making time to put up a posting. Besides this content is especially difficult for me to understand. In my last posting I purposed to stop worrying about the future to enjoy the present... but here in the Prophets, its all about the future - doom and gloom sprinkled with some amazing promises.
Sure, verse by verse there are some amazing promises that God has used to speak to me during this reading. But as I'm reading I'm trying to decide what is the macro picture here? What is God trying to tell me? Blessings for obedience and curses for disobedience. Maybe that is it?
What I find myself wondering the most is what would it have been like to be either Isaiah or Jeremiah. Particularly Jeremiah. We often quote the verse from Jeremiah that tells us God knew us before he formed us in the womb. It makes us feel important and wanted - and it should. But think about Jeremiah. God knew that his life's purpose was to bring bad news to people and share with them a message that they wouldn't obey- all before he was created in the womb. We later see Jeremiah questioning why he was even born... why hadn't he been killed in the womb? Something sadistic perhaps, but I can identify with his pain in the present attitude I've been carrying around.
Let me be a little more transparent than I've been... I'm the only remaining son of a long generation of farmers. Yet to date, I've chosen not to return to the farm. Yet there is something inside of me that wants the lifestyle but not sure that I'm cut out to be a full time farmer. Each year that passes I feel like a bigger and bigger disappointment to my parents. I enjoy my present job and lifestyle and am not ready to give it up for something uncertain and unknown. So there are many times when I've agonized with God... why me? Why did you chose this for me? Why don't you just make it clear to me what I'm supposed to do? Maybe my thoughts haven't ever gone as far as Jeremiah in thinking "Why was I ever born?" yet I have been having a bit of a pity party lately. The consequence of this is that I've not been the husband or father that God wants me to be. I'm not being obedient to the blessings He has given me because of worry for the things that I've not yet known.
So the life of Jeremiah had to be tough... constantly receiving messages from God that is not popular with the culture and even when delivered didn't see much change in the culture... he was even punished for his messages. My life is nothing compared to that. Yet I'm not being obedient and am not being the leader in my family.
God knew me before I was born and knew the struggles I would face. He knew it would take those struggles to make me more like Him. It is my choice to face the challenges as opportunities to bring Him glory or to have a pity party. If Jeremiah could persist in his challenges... so can I!
If you're reading this its obvious I took some time off from posting on my blog. I'm still current on the reading but between vacation schedule and a generally poor attitude lately I was just not making time to put up a posting. Besides this content is especially difficult for me to understand. In my last posting I purposed to stop worrying about the future to enjoy the present... but here in the Prophets, its all about the future - doom and gloom sprinkled with some amazing promises.
Sure, verse by verse there are some amazing promises that God has used to speak to me during this reading. But as I'm reading I'm trying to decide what is the macro picture here? What is God trying to tell me? Blessings for obedience and curses for disobedience. Maybe that is it?
What I find myself wondering the most is what would it have been like to be either Isaiah or Jeremiah. Particularly Jeremiah. We often quote the verse from Jeremiah that tells us God knew us before he formed us in the womb. It makes us feel important and wanted - and it should. But think about Jeremiah. God knew that his life's purpose was to bring bad news to people and share with them a message that they wouldn't obey- all before he was created in the womb. We later see Jeremiah questioning why he was even born... why hadn't he been killed in the womb? Something sadistic perhaps, but I can identify with his pain in the present attitude I've been carrying around.
Let me be a little more transparent than I've been... I'm the only remaining son of a long generation of farmers. Yet to date, I've chosen not to return to the farm. Yet there is something inside of me that wants the lifestyle but not sure that I'm cut out to be a full time farmer. Each year that passes I feel like a bigger and bigger disappointment to my parents. I enjoy my present job and lifestyle and am not ready to give it up for something uncertain and unknown. So there are many times when I've agonized with God... why me? Why did you chose this for me? Why don't you just make it clear to me what I'm supposed to do? Maybe my thoughts haven't ever gone as far as Jeremiah in thinking "Why was I ever born?" yet I have been having a bit of a pity party lately. The consequence of this is that I've not been the husband or father that God wants me to be. I'm not being obedient to the blessings He has given me because of worry for the things that I've not yet known.
So the life of Jeremiah had to be tough... constantly receiving messages from God that is not popular with the culture and even when delivered didn't see much change in the culture... he was even punished for his messages. My life is nothing compared to that. Yet I'm not being obedient and am not being the leader in my family.
God knew me before I was born and knew the struggles I would face. He knew it would take those struggles to make me more like Him. It is my choice to face the challenges as opportunities to bring Him glory or to have a pity party. If Jeremiah could persist in his challenges... so can I!
Monday, July 14, 2008
July 12-14; Days 49, 50, 51
Isaiah 1 - 42
I was wondering when it was going to happen and it finally did. I've reached the point at which this has become a task and not part of letting God speak to me. I'm facing burnout of reading the Bible, but I'm so afraid to get behind and really want to finish. So admittedly this post has very little to do with the passage and more to do with me...
I'm sure it has something to do with my heart attitude. My heart is very heavy. I realized it when I was reading Ecclesiastes and actually enjoyed it because I also felt so much the same! My heart has been worried about the future and I've almost missed living in the present... all because I've been focused on the past. I've consumed my heart and mind with worry and pushed God and his Word out of my life.... what a silly thing to do.. Let me describe....
Last week we went to visit family over the 4th of July. Then we went to my parents' house and stayed with them for a few days while we attended the county fair where I grew up. We watched my nephew show animals in 4-H something I used to do while growing up. Its not uncommon for me to leave these visits from my parents a little melancholy. I long for a stronger relationship with my family. I long for the "lifestyle" I used to enjoy growing up in the country. Yet coming away from this visit I was a little more than melancholy. I was and still am a little bit what I would call "homesick." But what makes me homesick. Is it missing what was... or hoping that I could have that again?
I can't quite figure it out. I have prayed several nights since I've been home for God to help me figure it out. Yet, I'm not sure how... at the same time I'm worrying about the future I run the risk of enjoying the present. You see, me and my family are on vacation this week. We are enjoying a week away. Camping out and visiting an amusement park. I visited the park today with the kids and my wife and while we were there I was so preoccupied with what was going through my head I almost missed the joy of watching my children experience the rides for the first time.
How often is it like this in the world. We 're so worried about the future that we can't enjoy the present? Well I think this is where the overlap comes with the Bible readings for the last several days. Isaiah was just a normal man willing to follow God's leading. And he was a man that found it impossible to focus on the present because God kept giving him pictures of what the future was going to look like. So Isaiah had to go around and tell people about how bleak the future looked even though in the present they thought he was kind of strange.
I'm certainly no Isaiah. I'm not called to tell people about doom and gloom - at least not yet. But I do know there is a lot in the present I want to enjoy and there is a lot in the future that I'm uncertain of. The only thing I can do is to purpose to live each day more purposely. By asking God to order my short term steps, I'm trusting he'll order them in such a way that leads me to figure out the future... and instead of figuring it out - I hope I'll just enjoy the moment when it happens....
But for now, I've got to go... tomorrow we're going to a water park with the kids and I don't want to miss a moment.
I was wondering when it was going to happen and it finally did. I've reached the point at which this has become a task and not part of letting God speak to me. I'm facing burnout of reading the Bible, but I'm so afraid to get behind and really want to finish. So admittedly this post has very little to do with the passage and more to do with me...
I'm sure it has something to do with my heart attitude. My heart is very heavy. I realized it when I was reading Ecclesiastes and actually enjoyed it because I also felt so much the same! My heart has been worried about the future and I've almost missed living in the present... all because I've been focused on the past. I've consumed my heart and mind with worry and pushed God and his Word out of my life.... what a silly thing to do.. Let me describe....
Last week we went to visit family over the 4th of July. Then we went to my parents' house and stayed with them for a few days while we attended the county fair where I grew up. We watched my nephew show animals in 4-H something I used to do while growing up. Its not uncommon for me to leave these visits from my parents a little melancholy. I long for a stronger relationship with my family. I long for the "lifestyle" I used to enjoy growing up in the country. Yet coming away from this visit I was a little more than melancholy. I was and still am a little bit what I would call "homesick." But what makes me homesick. Is it missing what was... or hoping that I could have that again?
I can't quite figure it out. I have prayed several nights since I've been home for God to help me figure it out. Yet, I'm not sure how... at the same time I'm worrying about the future I run the risk of enjoying the present. You see, me and my family are on vacation this week. We are enjoying a week away. Camping out and visiting an amusement park. I visited the park today with the kids and my wife and while we were there I was so preoccupied with what was going through my head I almost missed the joy of watching my children experience the rides for the first time.
How often is it like this in the world. We 're so worried about the future that we can't enjoy the present? Well I think this is where the overlap comes with the Bible readings for the last several days. Isaiah was just a normal man willing to follow God's leading. And he was a man that found it impossible to focus on the present because God kept giving him pictures of what the future was going to look like. So Isaiah had to go around and tell people about how bleak the future looked even though in the present they thought he was kind of strange.
I'm certainly no Isaiah. I'm not called to tell people about doom and gloom - at least not yet. But I do know there is a lot in the present I want to enjoy and there is a lot in the future that I'm uncertain of. The only thing I can do is to purpose to live each day more purposely. By asking God to order my short term steps, I'm trusting he'll order them in such a way that leads me to figure out the future... and instead of figuring it out - I hope I'll just enjoy the moment when it happens....
But for now, I've got to go... tomorrow we're going to a water park with the kids and I don't want to miss a moment.
Friday, July 11, 2008
July 11; Day 48
Song of Songs
I can't wait to read Pastor Gary's blog on this book! It ought to be good. Lilies, pomegranites, doves, gazelles, fawns, etc... why is it these words hold so much intrigue and passion. It is because it causes us to invoke the imagination. Instead of saying your breasts are large.... the writer is describing them invoking imagination. The word pictures are fascinating and as a man I have to be careful how much I think about them, lest I get nothing else done today. But let's reflect on this in our own marriages?
I can't wait to read Pastor Gary's blog on this book! It ought to be good. Lilies, pomegranites, doves, gazelles, fawns, etc... why is it these words hold so much intrigue and passion. It is because it causes us to invoke the imagination. Instead of saying your breasts are large.... the writer is describing them invoking imagination. The word pictures are fascinating and as a man I have to be careful how much I think about them, lest I get nothing else done today. But let's reflect on this in our own marriages?
- But why is it that I don't talk to my wife like this today?
- How often am I invoking Nicole's imagination in the conversations I have with her? Am I merely describing details or am I asking her to associate two seemingly unrelated things in a new and exciting way?
- Why don't I take time to tell her what I admire about her (and even lust after occasionally)? God created us to love and be enamored with each other. I remember times when we were dating that I used to behave this way - on occasion - but not as a routine matter of behavior.
- What would it do for our marriage if I were to compliment her more and encourage her more and spice up our relationship more?
The bottom line is I've let life get in the way of really living. I've let our conversations remain on the transactional stuff of life (because there is so much of it) and not get into the imaginative stuff of our relationship.
Just recently we re-instituted the concept of "date night" in our marriage. One night a month where we go out just the two of us and do something that we wouldn't normally do. Going to a nice dinner or even to a improv show, these are all things that we've done. It's not so much the event at hand as it is the ability we have to talk about stuff other than "life." While I've even squandered away this opportunity to go deeper in conversation these moments have brought about a sort of "renewal" to our marriage. With the impending birth of our 3rd baby, I pray we will continue this discipline.
I encourage you as I have been encouraged today to start dating your spouse again. Let it start with your words, followed by your actions... and let's see what comes next..... Gazelles leaping in the lilies perhaps????? :)
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