Integrity at its finest

Ok, so I'm one of the few souls who have exhausted all of their vacation early in the year and now find myself in a desolate office just 2 days before Christmas! I joked to a fellow co-worker today that we were playing "survivor" and we were going to see who would be voted off at tonight's tribal council as things were getting rather isolated here.

But today, I noticed something. While not everyone is here there is one person here that is extremely telling. This individual is retiring from our company after 42 years of service. She's been an administrative assistant her entire career and has worked her way into a very prominent role supporting our Vice Presidents. Her last official day is December 31 but because we are on company shut-down between Christmas Day and January 5, tomorrow is her last day in the office. AND she is still here. Working away, tying up loose ends, tidying her workspace...

What makes this remarkable is that her boss is gone. He's been gone for nearly a week now. In Montana of all places, so there's not much chance he's going to pop in for a surprise visit. There's really no one else around either who would need anything from her. So she really is here just cleaning up. AND she stays.

Why? Well, she is a true company person - why else would she have stayed with the same employer for 42 years? (our company is only 53 years old). She just is that kind of person. Someone who wouldn't even think about abusing the privileges we've been given. Someone who wouldn't even think about lying or cheating. Someone put in charge of little and given much!

This person has taught me today as I watched her go about her work the value of integrity. Doing what you ought to when no body is watching....
But isn't that what we're all doing here on Earth? We've been given the chance to do what we ought to when Jesus isn't here in the flesh. But how many of us are doing this? How many of us are just "getting by" hoping that no one sees? How many of us have knocked off early from work to squeeze in last minute Christmas shopping hoping to avoid the crowds???

While we celebrate the birth of our Savior this Christmas, we also celebrate His life here on Earth. The first time he was here, no one really understood what King of Kings meant. So unabashedly men went about their life with little regard for Him. And here we are in the period of time with no visible representation of Him on this earth. And we're doing basically the same thing. Going about our life without regard for Him. . . But there is coming a day - and Praise God for this - when He will return and everyone will know what King of Kings means... and how we long for that day.

So my friends, as you read this today and as you prepare to celebrate Christmas - think of my friend and c0-worker here in the office - going out her duties diligently and respectfully in the absence of the boss. And please do the same. Live today for Him. Celebrate tomorrow and Thursday not just with gifts and food, but with the joy that comes from knowing the King of Kings is alive and will return again to call you by name. Bow before a manger scene somewhere this season and thank God that that Baby knows your name and willingly came to earth, went to the cross and is coming again, just for YOU!

Because you know... just like the fact that I saw my friend from afar going about her work... He sees you from afar even now as you read this! And he's watching... and waiting to call you by name.

Merry Christmas!

Calming the Whirlwind

OK.. at the risk of sounding really old... and also negating my promise to never sound like my parents... I'm about to make a profound statement.

I can't believe Christmas is next week! It has come out of nowhere it seems.

I know literally it has not. The 25th is the 25th every year... right after the 24th and right before the 26th. Yet, as I get older, it seems that the whirlwind of life gets faster and faster. It started on Thanksgiving when our baby was hospitalized with respiratory problems. That took 3 days out of our season and seemed to put us "off of schedule." As a family, we've been rushing from event to event since, preparing cards, presents, etc... no different than most families at this time of year I suppose.

Yet, I'm seeking forgiveness right now... I have rushed through the season getting from event to event without regard for THE event. We've not purposefully created space in our life to reflect on the miracle of the season. We've not proactively educated our children on the miracle of the Messiah's birth. We've only been showing the kids that Christmas is a busy season.. and not a Birth Season.

That is until an event late last week caused me to stop in my tracks and take note. In the middle of my preparations and chaos I was offered a new opportunity at my workplace to take responsibility for a different team of individuals with a completely separate set of responsibilities from what I've been doing for the last 4 years. The kicker was I had about 24 hours to make the decision. In all honesty, I didn't realize how bored I'd become with my current role. I loved working for my boss - who is a great mentor and friend. I loved the people I worked with... I loved the work I had done... There was (and is) a lot of my current role that I'm not ready to leave behind.

Yet, the propect of something new awakened something in me. I realized how scary something new was. But yet in the scariness, something came alive in me again. I realized I would have to depend on God again to help me manage the ambiguity of the new position and I would have to create space to listen to Him again. Even as I type this, I recognize how arrogant it sounds... but you see the truth of the matter was that I had become dependent on myself in my old role. I had realized I could do it and I was relying on the talent God had given me and not upon God. I was growing but only in the areas I wanted to grow in... and not where God was pushing me.

So I have accepted the new responsibilties which will ultimately go in effect in January and I feel totaly inadequate but yet totally at peace with this decision. You see this is where the two parts of this blog post come together....

We can go through Christmas preparing for the event... and yet miss the EVENT. The whirlwind of life is profound and we all can fall prey to its suction. AND we can go through life and miss LIFE itself. Life was not meant to be lived in comfort... for in comfort we find only ourselves. The Miracle of Christmas is that "unto us a Savior is born." And not only at Christmas do we need to take time to marvel at the manger... but daily we need to realize our dependence on the Babe to help us really experience life.

So for this week, my actions have been to stop preparing to celebrate... and truly celebrate. Because God has opened my eyes up - AGAIN -to my dependence on Him... and that is the most peaceful place I can hope to be... even if there is a whirwind around me.

Raised to New Life...

Last Sunday I had a very humbling and yet thrilling experience when I was asked to peform the baptism of a new believer. It was truly an awesome experience. I was humbled because you never know what role you play in showing or sharing Christ's love with somone else. I had met this young man at "The Porch." It is an area within our church where people can come to talk to someone else about what the Spirit is stirring within them. This guy came out and felt that God was telling Him to follow in obedience. He'd studied the scriptures and recognized that there was always a pattern between confession and being baptized. That day there on The Porch, he confessed Jesus as Savior and decided to wait until the following Sunday to be baptized. What an awesome day it was and what a celebration was occuring in heaven as one of God's children had officially come home.

It caused me to reflect on my own conversion experience. I could remember when I was baptized as a child. I remember my parents letting me make this choice. Yet I did it with all the wrong intentions. I knew it was a requirement to join the church to have been baptized previously. All of my friends were joining church at the allowed age, and so I wanted to as well when I turned that age. Thus, I decided to be baptized. This was merely an outward expression and there was no inward decision that had been made. I no more knew Jesus as my personal Savior than I knew the President of the United States as a friend. To me both were just figures in a story of life.

Fast forward to college. After the death of my brother I began to really question the meaning of life. I looked in many areas for that meaning. Many of them were dead ends. Most were unfulfilling. And at such an appointed time a person from Campus Crusade from Christ that I had gotten to know, pulled me aside in the library and really questioned me about whether I truly knew who Jesus was. He asked some very pointed questions that left impressions - and at the time - some deep wounds as I thought it to be offensive.

Yet, in those wounds it forced me to confront the deeper questions I wasn't facing. Then I really began studying the Bible and truly listening to the words of some of the old hymns that I realized I hadn't confessed and I hadn't obeyed. You see, I confessed to Jesus that I needed him when I was a teenager. I remember exactly when it was on the floor of my bedroom after a Christmas Eve service at church. But I had never told anyone of this decision. After realizing the words of Amazing Grace - were for me and that I hadn't told anyone about "the hour I first believed" I decided it was time. I studied the scriptures and found for myself that confession always comes before baptism in the Bible. Not the other way around. So at the age of 26, I was baptized on October 11, 1999. I remember repeating the great confession that day. Being lowered into the water and being raised out of it feeling completely free and loved. (It was extra special that my precious wife decided to be baptized that day as well so we have that special memory to share for ever as well.)

So as I was preparing to perform the baptism this last Sunday, I was praying and thanking God for the conviction of the Spirit and the strength to obey. I prayed with my new Brother in Christ before the baptism and asked God to help him remember this day for eternity and also to feel the awesome freedom and unconditional love that comes along with our confession of faith. As we stepped into the baptistry it really hit me -the awesomeness of this moment. That God would chose a sinner like me to become his own. And now through this ministry on "The Porch" I had the opportunity to introduce others to my heavenly Father and to be a part of their baptism.

Just to be clear, let me make certain that I do not believe the act of baptism confers salvation on anyone. There is no scriptural evidence to proove this. Yet, confession of Christ is what saves. And the Biblical order of this is confess and be baptized (See Matthew 3:6 for an example). So one is the commitment and one is the ceremony of that commitment. Yet this ceremony is so important. Because it is our chance to publically confess and show others our commitment. There is nothing like public confession to keep us accountable.

As I was lowering this young man into the water, I recited the phrase,
burried in death" and saw the water completely wash over his face. I realized again what that statement actually means. Burried ... forgotten... forgiven... Then I raised him out of the water, I recited, "Raised to new life in Christ" and I saw that as the water rolled off of his face, a huge smile replaced it... and I knew he was feeling this freedom that comes with our obedience.

Why can't we all feel this freedom? This forgiveness? The answer is - we can. Yet many have chosen not to. I urge you, if you don't feel it or if you can't remember - please don't hesitate. God might just be calling you to follow him. Don't wait...

In this season of Thanksgiving... the most important thing you could/should be thankful for is your salvation in Christ. If you haven't already, won't you make this the most memorable Thanksgiving already by telling someone else you've confessed Jesus as Lord of your life?

They're seeking... are you ready??

I mentioned in my previous post about how in the last 4 days, it seems more people are wanting to talk about the Election... but not about the politics but about its significance. This election has provided an opportunity for us all to look deep within us and to challenge what we believe. Whether there were biases about skin color or whether there religious implications to our votes. It seems that everyone has had to challenge something in this election. Regardless of who would have won the election, there would have been nearly half of the country that would have been upset and would have had to find a way to "live with the results" and make peace with the decisions of the people.



Just in the past few days these conversations have centered around several questions. More than once, I've heard people remark that they thought they would feel more relieved than this. When I asked about it, they said they were feeling so much anxiety before the election and thought it was because of all the media hype and constant negative campaigning going on. They had anticipated that once it was over, it would be all better. But it isn't... they are still anxious. (And this was from a few of my friends who supported the winning candidate!) The way I look at it is that we have not been willing to call the "anxiety" we were feeling by the right name. You see we are living in a battle. A battle is going on all around us between good an evil. Let me be very clear, I'm not suggesting one candidate was "Good" and the other "evil." These are human beings and we know that all have fallen short of God's glory. Yet there is a war going on between the goodness of God and the evilness of Satan. As the world's heart grows further from Our Creator's this vacuum becomes greater. How can one deny that things are not getting better when compared against God's goodness? With that said, I think it is important to realize that no election was going to end this battle. It will exist until Jesus returns for His church. I found it humbling how many people outside of the church have never really heard of this and I also found it amazing how calling something by its rightful name often puts it in its place. Evil is evil and can only be defeated by the Blood of the Lamb.

I've also been asked more than once since the election (and ironically never before the election) if I thought God would hold us accountable for our vote. My response to this has been to ask a question and find out what that individual thinks their vote represents. Most people will recognize that a vote is nothing more than an outward sign of an inward decisions or commitments. And then I ask, "Do you think God holds us accountable for our decisions?" This has proven to be an interesting question. Too many people in our world have never truly thought about this. But isn't it true, every day He gives us a chance to decide on things. Some our trivial and some are major issues. Yet each decision gives us a chance to demonstrate our view of the world and our understanding of God. You have a choice to show you're growing and learning with relation for God's plan for you life. So while I sense the question many are really asking is this, "Do you think some people are going to hell because they voted for a certain candidate?" My clear response to this is emphatically, "No. People are going to hell because they have never made a decision to accept Christ to cover their sins." God's Word tells us that. Yet we have a chance to show repentance and allow Jesus to change our worldview and ultimately our outward decisions reflect our inner commitments to Him. So, I do believe God will hold us accountable but it is not our outward vote. It is our inability to recognize our sin that He'll hold us accountable for. Yet I also know that in His Grace, He gave me a way to avoid my destiny by repenting and accepting Christ into my life. We need to be a people of repentance on behalf of our personal and national sins. This is what needs to change first before we have any hope of our government changing.

The other question I've been asked is this, "Aren't you worried about the future?" (This was more in relation to the economy rather than the election.) I cannot lie. I AM concerned. I wonder how many people in the world will go hungry. I wonder why we continue to take away farmer's rights in the US to use technology and modern production practices when we know that there is not enough food to feed the world with the current rate of population growth. I wonder what the world could be like if we would seek relationship instead of religion. I'm concerned that there are people who have a false sense of "goodness" and have not truly experienced God through Jesus. Yet I can honestly say I'm not worried. I know that my faith is secure in Christ. I recall the day I asked Him into my life. I tell others about it regulary. I know He is in control. I know that He has always protected and provided for His Church even in difficulty.

So friends, as your friends are seeking - are you ready? How do you answer the question, "Are you worried?" Where is your faith; in self,or in The Savior? Take care of your own response first... and then be ready because there is a world of confused people out there who are asking questions and need to know the Answer!!

Our response...

Already just a few short days after Election day, I've realized some of the amazing things that are coming about from this election. (I'll make this the focus of this and future posts.) I've talked to several people and have been contacted by friends, co-workers and family members and it seems that everyone has something to say about the recent events. This is a monumental time in our history as a country. I'm thrilled that we can collectively take pride in the fact that we've risen above many of the prejudices that have divided us for too long.

One thing I'm very excited about is the chance that this provides us each to talk about our positions, our dreams and our aspirations. What a positive thing it is to find out really what is on the hearts of those we care about. In just a few short days, I've had a chance to share my "faith story" with many people. It seems for whatever reason (perhaps the election, perhaps the economic recession, and most likely because God is ordaining these conversations) that people are hungry to hear what God is doing in our world. I have to admit not all of these conversations have been productive or uplifting. Some people have been holding so tightly to their bias that they are unwilling to entertain someone else's position much less to pursue a relationship with them. This is what saddens me the most. Because we know truly that all division amongst us comes from The Enemy and not from God.

I'm saddened that so many of my Christian friends are walking around with their heads held low. I can understand that the winning candidate stands in opposition to God's laws in many areas - but God ordains all leaders and our hope is in so much more than a candidate or a president.

I'm saddened that others are behaving as alarmists and already to proclaim God's judgement on our nation. True we do know that standing in opposition of God has never worked in the past but we also know that no one is more powerful than God. And we've also seen from our 2 centuries of democracy that nothing moves quickly in government.

I'm saddended to say that even some of my Christian friends are holding so tightly to their bias that they are putting rules in front of relationship with others as they are talking with them. What we must realize in this hour is that religion will never save the world. The more we hold to doctrinal differences show division amongst the Church, the more people stumble who are truly searching for something stable in the source of strife. We know ultimately that the only thing that will provide this stability in someone's life is a relationship with Christ. Yet, if we don't seek relationship first and only hold on to religion or rules, we will never have a relationship with others and likely they will never see Christ. Just in the last few days, I have been told that this church or that denomination is right and this church or denomination is wrong. I've been corrected for studying the Bible incorrectly. I've engaged in conversations where people have given up on the Church completely. This breaks my heart and I'm sure it saddens Jesus when His children are divided.

Think for just a moment how much more effective it would be if we were to rejoice that in today's world there are still people searching for God. They are opening their Bible out of willingness to hear from Him. They are willing to step up to serve Him in a world that rewards serving only self. Rather than telling them they are studying incorrectly, we could praise God for what they are learning, pray for the Spirit to be their counsellor and guide, and seek relationship with them instead throwing denominational differences in front of them. If we continue to hold to our "rules for religion" we are no better than the Pharisees that Jesus chastised ...

Matthew 23:27 , "Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men's bones and everything unclean."

Today in these turblent times, I think it is more important than ever that we as God's people stand united and continue the everlasting mission of the Church; to proclaim Christ as Lord and Savior of the world. This can only be done by way of relationship... not by way of rules.

Today won't you seek relationship in stead of being a stumbling block for someone else finding Christ?

Sleepless in Greenfield...

Have you ever just had one of those nights when you were so tired, but your mind just wouldn't stop? Attempting to fall asleep just makes you madder because you can't and so you start worrying about all the problems of the world? Last night was such a night for me. It started with one of the kids waking up and needing to "tell me something" (which was of limited importance and I might even attribute it to sleepwalking). I was awake from this and couldn't go back to sleep. . . and yet I tried and tried...

Now looking back on it, I'm sure it was God using my son to wake me up so He could speak to me. And this is why I'm convinced of that.

You see, lately I have been consumed with the state of the world (or at least the United States). I wish so badly that I had some perspective on the situations we face as to how we've emerged from times like this in the past. I've sought the counsel and wisdom of others, but there are time when you do just want to hear from your father or grandfather about how "Bishops get through this stuff." But I've never really had that kind of relationship with my father and this time of year he's always extremely busy bringing in the harvest. So I've neglected to ask. Yet I've tried to plow forward and find answers on my own. I check the Internet, the newspaper, podcasts, and converse with friends. I am absorbing everything I can but really finding only more confusion. All week, I've felt this nagging question, where is the Church's response to this confusion in the world? Who is carrying the banner encouraging people not to look at a candidate as a savior but the King of Kings as THE Savior?

So last night the confusion resulted in insomnia. As I was laying in bed, I decided it was useless and chose to get up, go downstairs, and complete my Bible Study Fellowship lesson and preparation as a leader. One of our preparation steps is to prepare homiletics on the passage we're studying. Homiletics are an intensive way to dissect scripture that helps you organize the content around the principles in the passage and seek personal application. This particular passage is studying Moses and the Israelites immediately after their deliverance through the Red Sea. We see that the Israelites immediately begin to grumble and quarrel with Moses, and ultimately with God. As I was studying this, I first realized the fault of the Israelites and identified with them in how quickly my praise can turn into grumbling. Yet, what I realized from this is how God responded. He didn't get angry and wipe them off the earth. He continued to listen to their grumbling. Moses tired of it long before God did. And yet, God continued to provide a way for them to be delivered. He sweetened bitter water and made it potable. He provided bread from heaven and quail for their diets. He then provided water from a rock when there was nothing to drink. Finally, through Moses prayer, He strengthened Joshua and his army to defeat the Amalekites. Each time He was providing a way to create the faith in the people that they would need to become a repentant nation and to achieve His purposes through them. (See Exodus 15:22 - 17:16 for the unabridged version of the story.)We also see God instructing Moses to "record this event" because memories would soon fade and people would need to be reminded in the future of His provision and to be encouraged....

I guess that would be me. I would need to be reminded AND encouraged last night as I read this passage and prepared my homiletics.

As a part of homiletics we're asked to state the "aim" of the passage. It starts with the aim is "to cause the audience to learn..." and you're to fill in the blank. I wrestled with this part. What is the aim. Is it to help the audience remember not to grumble when trial comes? Is it to remind them - like Moses - to cry out to God on behalf of others? Is it the admonishment to record God's provision for future generations? It could have been any or all of these. But the way I summarized it was by including this longsuffering aspect of my Abba Daddy that I recognized anew. . . and I stated the purpose as...

To cause the audience to learn that "Our long-suffering God will use ALL circumstances to develop AND preserve faith in His Church."

You see, each of the events going on today is a wake up call for us. Whatever is our "god" will be discredited. Our 401(k), our company job, our favorite candidate that we're worshipping... all can and will be discredited by the ONE true God. And His interest is in bringing us to lasting and repentant faith in Him. Nothing else.

So last night, it was through my son, and him waking me up - that I did actually learn how Bishop's make it through times like this. It wasn't from my earthly father - but from my Heavenly Abba Daddy that I receieved this encouragment. Isn't it just like that... through the Son, we find our Father!!!! Praise the Lord!

Now tonight, I'm sure I'll sleep much better!

Fear... but Fun...

These last few weekends have been the kind of weather that seem to put me in a spirit most receptive to feeling God's presence in my life. Perfect Autumn temperatures, falling leaves, the smell of winter just around the corner. You get the picture. So we've decided to celebrate autumn as a family and have dedicated Sundays recently to nothing but family activities. It starts by going to church, coming home for a brunch (Nicole makes the best pancakes!) and then deciding as a family how we want to experience the fall. Two weeks ago we spent the afternoon at Fort Ben State Park. We walked the trails, the kids picked up walking sticks and leaves and Mom and Dad actually got to walk hand in hand down the leaf-strewn path. Rather idyllic! This past week we went to a city park with more paths in the forest beside a creek and we got to talk about God's provision for us and how magnificent it is that He lets us enjoy this beauty.

While at this park, Owen and Claire were playing on the swing set. These swings were probably a bit small for them as they were the "Baby" swings that had a full "drop in" seat with a belt on them. So because of that the kids felt extra secure in their swing. I was pushing them and they kept taunting me to push "higher and higher." So being a kid myself I decided to see how high they'd like to go. It ended with me giving them "underdogs" (Remember those from the old days... when you push the swing and then run underneath of them!!! Brought me back memories of elementary school) Well this is when the boy separates from the girl. Owen was loving it. He was squealing and urging me to see if he could go upside down in his swing! Claire on the other hand was a bit scared. She was laughing because Owen was laughing but I could tell from the look on her face - she was just a little afraid that the swing might just go all the way around! When I asked her if she was OK, she said, "Its fun, just a little scary."

There in the middle of this beautiful fall portrait, I felt God's gentle nudge prompting me and speaking directly to my heart. He was encouraging me to be more like this little girl. You see, I think God wants us all to be on the edge of our seat where there is a delicate balance between fear and fun. Unless we're a little fearful, we believe we're always in control. At least I do. I think there is an appropriate amount of fear that we are to have in order to realize that God is in control and He alone will see me through this situation. And that is where the fun comes in.

All too often in life, I've played it safe. I'm still prone to that today. I stay comfortably within the social circles I feel most "alike" with. My closest friends are strong Christians and as such there's not much of an opportunity to share the freshness of God's love with them.

Yet you see, just a few short hours before this revelation on the playground, I was serving in Church. I volunteer to assist people who need to talk or make a decision during the services. It is an amazing experience. Yet up to now, I've mostly assisted the other volunteers until I learn the hang of things. But you see, this Sunday was fall break with the schools in the area, and the other volunteers weren't there. It was just me. And during the response time, no one came out with a decision. "Whew!" I thought. "I escaped that one." Then just as I was about to shut the doors to the decision area, a young man came out. He was obviously disturbed and moved by the message. I quickly prayed to God, "I'm scared. What if he has real stuff that I don't know how to deal with? Oh why isn't' there another volunteer out here with me? Why?" As we talked and prayed, I realized what a joy it was just to listen. To listen, not with the intent to fix a problem or provide an answer, but just with the intent to show compassion for someone who was authentically worshipping the Lord. A broken heart and a contrite spirit is all God needs to reveal Himself, and this day, this young man was helping me realize that in my brokenness and in my fear, God was showing up.

So in the words of my 3 year old daughter... it was fun - just a little scary. But isn't that exactly where God wants us to be?

Stop playing it safe fellow Christians. Step out, be bold, ask the Lord to show up and give you His strength to serve. And know that He will. Unless we get out into the world, we will never shine God's light. Salt in the shaker is useless. Only when it is out of the shaker does it realize its real purpose. So go... get out of the shaker. Don't rely on your self to go "higher and higher." Let God give you a few underdogs and see just exactly how high you can go!

John 3:30 "He must become greater; I must become less."

You never know it until you teach it...

I work as a corporate trainer. That means I can - by positional power - make perfectly grown up adults act like children in public for the sake of learning new skills. I absolutely love it... and for the most part I think the participants do too as they realize just how much of our childlike inquisitive nature is lost when we become adults.

One would then think that I might be a natural teacher for my kids then... but I'm ashamed to say that is not so. You see, I have to live with my kids and I'm scared to death that someday they'll catch me not doing what I've taught them to. Recently however, I've recognized that teaching them the "old" way by just reading books is not working for our family devotion time together. So we've tried engaging their senses in the process of learning.

This week we attempted to help them internalize Psalm 46:1 - "The Lord is our strength and refuge; an ever-present help in trouble." (For more on how we did this visit Nicole's Blog - www.bishopfamilyjournal.blogspot.com - and look under the heading "Big or Small they still won't fall".

To summarize, we were helping the kids see that if they dropped their egg with no protection it would break. Yet if they wrapped their egg in layers of protection and then it dropped it wouldn't break... the protection offered by - in this case - Wal-Mart bags - was like God's strength that we can wrap ourselves in.

Bingo... it hit me between the eyes as I was teaching this lesson. You see we've been living on the edge recently. Not "The edge" in terms of cutting edge, motivational type of edge... but the edge in terms of almost tipping off and falling. The extra adjustment to a new baby, a sleep-deprived mother, house projects and renovations that are still not 100% complete, 2 pre-schoolers, BSF-leadership challenges, etc... have kept us on the edge. Nicole and I have not been communicating so our marriage has been a bit "edgy" lately. Then work has been crazy with some re-organization going on and people's jobs being impacted - which has kept me on the edge lately. And then all the aforementioned items adding to the stress of life. I realized I hadn't taken time to wrap my self in the Wal-Mart bag of protection. I haven't been cloaking myself with God's love. I've not been as earnestly seeking Him in my quiet time.

What was I doing? Well to be quite honest, I was giving into the lie that because of all the busyness, I needed more sleep, more rest, more relaxation, more recreation - more laziness.

As we wrapped up our egg-dropping experience we closed in prayer asking God to help keep us from cracking when we fall. I heard Nicole utter that she was about ready to crack... and it hit me again -

You never really know something until you teach it. I pray I finally learn to wrap myself daily in Your protection.

Meltdown...

I've had a really unique experience this week and I just have to share. You see over the last several months I've enjoyed connecting and reconnecting with several of my high school classmates on Facebook. It has been fun and exciting to see how very different everyone has become. It has been nearly 18 years since I've spoken to many of them. So this "new" technology helps us communicate even when we don't see each other.

In many ways it has been fascinating but in other ways it has been very discouraging. Almost to the point of meltdown. You see a friend posted a seemingly innocuous comment about "praying for VP debate" and this sparked a firestorm of messages. Some of our friends from high school hold very strong opinions on both religion and politics. And because this was the nexus for those two to intersect... boom.. we had meltdown. As the string of posts grew many felt the need to throw their hat in the ring and counter each other's statements and adding their opinion. As this string grows (even as you read this) and the attacks become more pointed, I started reflecting and praying... why is this happening? Why can't we seek unity?

Bingo... there was no attempt to understand each other.

We were only talking AT each other... not with each other. I'm as guilty as the others on the postings. Reflecting on it and some of the very hurtful things that were said, I realized that when engaged in confrontation I fall victim to thinking "if I only provide enough "right" answers to them, they will surely see my point of view." We'll that is certainly not the case. A meltdown happened. An acquaintance from high school (I can't technically call him a friend because though we knew of each other, we didn't really know each other in High School) was really insulted by some of the things I said when expressing my opinion. I'm deeply grieved by this. I never intended to cause this hurt or this pain. I got caught up in "providing enough right answers" that I forgot to seek to understand him and where he was coming from. I feel horrible and am seeking forgiveness from him as well as From the Lord for misrepresenting Him to others.

But in here is a lesson. We see it playing out in our political system today and all around us. We are becoming so entrenched in being right that we forget to find out where other people are. We don't seek to get to know them before we try to convert them. Facebook made it easy to assume I knew someone because I read their profile... but I never really talked to them or asked them any questions. And I can't expect to understand unless I take the time to get to know someone. Unity is not achieved by our "connections" or the number of "Friends" we have in Facebook. Unity is truly only achieved by way of relationship. We need to be people of relationships with each other... but more importantly we need to be people of relationships with our Heavenly Father!

I learned a lot this week. Please, dear Father, don't give up on me yet!

Psalm 33:11 - But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever!

We've recently challenged our kids to memorize 6 scripture verses in 6 weeks. We're sequencing the verses so they learn about God's purpose in their life. This weeks verse was Psalm 33:11 - "But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever."

I've been working with the kids all week to memorize this. We've used various tools. One of which was to have the kids put their hand prints in sand... and then I shook the container with the sand and their hand print disappeared. We likened this to the way we try to make plans on our own, but the storms of life can wash them away. Then the second time we added water to the sand so it was a bit "firmer" and they put their hand prints in it. Of course, upon shaking it, the hand print lasted a bit longer but with enough sustained shaking it too was erased. The third time, we put their hand print in the wet sand and then filled the imprint with wet plaster of Paris. Then after about 10 minutes it had set enough that upon shaking it the hand print remained. Then we removed the hand print and it was "firm forever". What a great illustration of the way we can rely on our Lord.

What I have witnessed over the last 2 weeks both at work and in general society is people grasping for stability. The economy is taking, the credit crisis has finally come back to bite our insatiable appetites for "stuff", things at work are constantly changing and never quite certain. Though the future seems dim in some ways it seems bright in other ways.

I believe it was providential that God has us teaching the kids this verse this week. Because when we teach something to someone else, we actually learn it for ourselves. Instead of grasping our 401(k) for security, instead of clinging to our job for significance, instead of believing a political candidate can save us from peril, won't you first grasp for the Lord?

You see this verse - Psalm 33:11 starts with the small but poignant word "BUT." But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever.

"What about political candidates and presidential elections", you say? BUT THE PLANS OF THE LORD STAND FIRM FOREVER.

"What about the economic situation and the bailout package?" BUT THE PLANS OF THE LORD STAND FIRM FOREVER.

"What about corporate mergers and reorganizations?" BUT THE PLANS OF THE LORD STAND FIRM FOREVER.

Don't you see... the only thing that stands firm is God's plans. Everything else is just a situation He is using to get us to recognize His plan for us. Please in this time of turbulence and uncertainty as you grasp for stability, make sure you grasp the only thing that stands firm forever... He will not disappoint you.

What do they say after the event is over?

Last night in Bible Study Fellowship I was challenged. And I can't get it off my mind. We're currently studying the Life of Moses. We were discussing the role that Moses' parent's played in his protection from Pharaoh's infanticide orders. The principle was that "Faith always allows you to play an important role in God fulfilling His plans."

The leader went on to ask a question to make the application of the principle. "For whose glory are you participating in activities for?" You see... we often accept the responsibility to serve with the wrong motives. We seek the praise or accolades and are disappointed because they are not given or misappropriated to someone else. Yet, if we accepted these requests "in faith" that means we truly are agreeing that God should receive the Glory and not ourselves. So if you can't answer this question by saying that you intend to give God the glory... then you really aren't serving in faith.

And as if this wasn't enough, the teaching leader went on to ask... " 'After the event is over, what do the other people say? Do they say, Wow! God really showed up here!" Or do they say, " Wow, Jim really did a good job on that one?" UGH! That one hit home. While I would hope they would see God, I recognize all too often I'm concerned about my image or how I'm being perceived by those I'm serving. This points out my lack of faith in serving. . . and I'm so embarrassed to admit it.

Lord, please work a mighty miracle in me and change my attitude. Help me get out of the way so the men in BSF can see more of You and less of me. The same goes for my family, my friends, my coworkers, and my friends... help them all see more of You because of my service... and help me get out of the way.

Thank you David, for showing me more about what servant leadership is like... and truly last night "God really showed up!"

Constantly whining...never appreciative

Tonight I must admit was not one of my finer parenting moments. As you can imagine and many of you have experienced, bringing home a new baby is a huge adjustment for the entire family. And today was my first day back at work. We have some very gracious parents and Nicole's parents volunteered to come over for the day and assist with the older children while Nicole took care of Everett and got some much needed rest. Yet for children who are used to having a structured day, the last 3 weeks have been anything but normal or structured for them. Admittedly they spent some time with both sets of loving grandparents and we would expect them to be doted on and spoiled. And this past week - after they returned home and we came home from the hospital - I was with them and I'm not the most structured individual myself. So today when I got home they were like live wires. Bouncing around the house and picking on one another atrociously. We sat down to eat or meal to which both kids turned up their nose and pronounced it to be "gross." Though they'd never eaten any of it. And being stubborn as I am - and perhaps a bit old fashioned - I told them that we were eating was what was on the table or nothing at all. So of course they decided to eat something... even if it was bread and butter (hold the bread and heavy on the butter.)

So then we take baths.... and all @#$$ broke loose. Claire had gotten a scratch on her foot earlier in the day. And well-meaning Grandma bandaged it with a band-aid... But fearing the water would "hurt the boo-boo" and make the band aid come off... Claire went ballistic on me. It was all we could do to get her in and out of the bathtub without smoke coming out her ears and her eyes completely turning red. (And you think I'm kidding....) So then we got her calmed down and started our nighttime ritual which normally involves reading the Bible, praying for each other, and worshipping God in song. But tonight was constant sobbing and crying about this boo-boo which hurt so badly. Nothing we could do was going to stop the perceived hurting of this scratch. And it only got worse.

So it ended with Claire losing the privilege of being part of our Family Bible Time and having to stay in her room by herself until she regained composure. (Incidentally, that never happened and she fell asleep literally screaming...) The rest of us proceeded to have Bible time, but it was anything but praiseful. I was grouchy and irritable, Nicole was in tears, and Owen kept asking "what's wrong?"

After everyone was down and the house was quiet, I proceeded to lay prostrate on the floor for a little while and decided to practice the Bible verse we've been teaching the kids lately... Psalm 46:10... "Be still and know that I am God." Just sitting there listening - and expecting to hear - God's voice I realized that what happens on earth is a reflection of what is going on in the spiritual realm as well. I realized that God must feel like me much of the time. As we complain and whine that we are hurting when there is far greater suffering and deprivation on the face of the earth, He surely must get frustrated. As we moan and grumble that he's not giving us our "Band-aid" He surely must be upset as He's already given us so much. As he sets a plate of perfectly nutritious food in front of us, and we proclaim it "gross" he must be ready to throw the dish into the trash and let us know what true hunger feels like.

Yet the difference became completely obvious to me... I snapped and He doesn't. I couldn't take it any more. I used Bible time as a sort of punishment for Claire. She didn't get to participate in what is meant to be worship and praise for our Creator. It ruined it for everyone ... not just her... not just our family... but I'm sure for God Himself too. And as I contrasted my behavior with that of God's... I realize just what "long suffering" means when the Bible describes God's character. Though He would have every right to snap at us and withhold privileges from us... He doesn't. He continues to show us mercy. He continues to take the brunt of our whining and ungrateful spirit. And for what? Only to get more of it later on. But somewhere in there is the opportunity for us to learn. For us to realize that there is a dark chasm between He and us... we will never be exactly like Him.... and the only way across the chasm is to rely fully on Jesus. So tonight I plead with you as I am doing, to ask Jesus to cover us and help us show God the love, respect, gratitude and devotion he deserves. And if you don't want... I'll invite you to come spend a night with Claire when she gets into one of these moods again - so you can realize what constant whining and no appreciation really feels like. :)

God bless you, my friends... I covet your prayers as I pursue becoming a more gracious and merciful father to my precious blessings.

Everett Samuel Bishop - Welcome to our world

He's here.... the long anticipated arrival of our 3rd child came with a mix of schedule and suspense. Nicole's blood pressure was creeping up and the doctor felt it wasn't worth running a risk of getting into emergency situations so she scheduled an induction for Wednesday morning at 7:00 am. Tuesday night we took the kids to Grandma and Grandpas and came home to get settled in for a good nights rest before the big day.

Yet at 11:30 Nicole sat straight up in bed and announced it was time to go. The baby decided to arrive unscheduled and on his own time. We loaded into the car drove to the hospital and Nicole was checked in yet wasn't in a great amount of pain. So the nurses were taking their time. We were moved to a delivery room and the IVs were placed... but not without some challenges. While they were placing the IVs Nicole started having some stronger and stronger contractions and by the time they were done she was ready to push. The doctor was still at home in bed, so after a hurried trip to the hospital she arrived just in time to put on her catchers glove and announce to Nicole - already in great distress - that it was too late for pain meds so we were going to do this "au natural" much to Nicole's chagrin. Actually, her exact words were, "THIS IS NOT A CLUB I WANTED TO BE A MEMBER OF." Stated rather emphatically.

In 20 minutes, Everett Samuel arrived at 3:17 am. 7 lbs 12 oz. 20.5 inches long.

Here are some pics of our latest miracle with more to come... as they are taken.

Temptation and choices

Have you ever been tempted and believed there was no way out but to give in? I have a dear brother who has been struggling for quite some time with a lot of issues in his life. It is always three steps forward and two steps back. Yet the steps back seem to bite much harder than the victories of moving forward. Despite protection mechanisms we've built into our relationship to help him realize there is a physical way out by calling me and alerting me of his intentions, he circumnavigated the process recently and gave in once again.

OK, so what's the big deal you say. We all stumble in many ways. Isn't that what the book of James says? (James 3:2) Of course it is. And we all fall short. And we are always to forgive. Yes, yes and yes. It is not about the falling short that I'm concerned - though the repeated pattern of failures makes it more difficult to encourage him that there is victory in the end. It is about the lack of asking someone else for help. You see, I've asked him what he needs from me. I've asked him to call me when he's having trouble. The Spirit alerted me to some of his challenges about a week before they happened and despite my many attempts to contact him (email, telephone, text messages) he didn't return my messages. There were many confirming circumstances that this friend was in trouble. And I tried to intercede through prayer and physically intervene. Yet he chose to go another route and make a series of poor choices once again. The damage is done. Two more steps backward. And though he tells me he's renewed his Relationship with Christ and that is going to help, I don't have much confidence.

You see, the Bible tells us that no one has seen God. No one. But if we believe we see God's representatives around us at all times. Those that carry Jesus in their heart are the representation of our Heavenly Father here on Earth. Therefore when we face times of trial or temptation - we should call out to others for help as a way of asking God for help. We pray and pray for deliverance from temptation (when really what we want is a "genie" to make it disappear) instead God has already provided us His hands and feet here on earth. They are other brothers and sisters. And at very least - we should accept the help that is offered to us. But we don't. Pride gets in the way. We want to be independent and slay our dragons all by ourselves. But this will not work. Why not? Because God says all he needs is a broken spirit and a contrite heart. That is the antithesis of pride isn't it?

So while temptation may seem like the dragon you need to slay ... and you attempt to do that by modifying your actions to temptation... perhaps the real dragon you need to kill once and for all is PRIDE. Reach out to others. Call someone else if you're tempted. Respond to a a friends attempt to contact you. Believe that the Spirit speaks to others on your behalf and their attempt to contact you is not only earthly but divine. Failure to rely on others and reach out for help will bite you all the time not because they single-handedly can take away your problem. But because it shows God you have a contrite heart willing to lay down your own pride.

None of us is strong enough to fight it alone... but together - when God's people unite - there is nothing that can defeat God.

Know that if you're reading this - my brother - that I'm willing to serve and assist. You've just got to let me in.

Warfare... beware

Does life ever get you down? The task list never seems to grow smaller, the kids never seem to play independently anymore, etc... You're so busy preparing that you forgotten to enjoy the moment? This describes me lately. Here are just a few of the events going on...

1. The house remodeling is nearly complete but now there are the fix-up projects like hanging blinds, fixing drywall, painting rooms etc. This has consumed my time lately. Correction, I've let it consume my time lately.
2. The kids got to spend a few days with my parents last week. They thoroughly enjoyed themselves. They swam with cousins, took tractor rides, played with kittens, and were completely spoiled by Nana and Papa's love.
3. Oh, and did I say my wife is 8.99 months pregnant and ready to go into labor at any moment, so our plans consist of 2 hour increments as we assess the landscape and potential for baby's arrival at any time.

So amid these distractions I noticed several things happening. When the kids came home they were not happy and jovial. They were tired, grouchy and irritable. Sometimes they were downright hateful in the things they would say and do towards us. I was also frustrated with my lack of pro activity as a father and as a husband and the fact that these house projects had kept me from giving my best to those I love the most. Then when I did attempt any project it was taking about 2 times longer than it should have and inevitably causing me to question my skills (or lack thereof) as a handyman.

I start hearing the voices again. (No I'm not bi-polar...) You know those voices. The ones that whisper in your ear "You're not good enough." or "You're a terrible father." or "You'll never be able to fix this problem." or "Any other man could figure out this issue, why can't you." Only a few minutes into this and I had convinced myself that I was a failure as a father, a husband, a manager, an employee, a Christian, and as a son. Ultimately I was defeated and lethargic. Amazing how quickly this happens, isn't' it.

I chose to get up early the next morning and go for what I call a "perspective walk." These walks are not for physical health but for spiritual health. On these walks I go slowly around our neighborhood and pause in front of random houses or mailboxes. I ponder what goes on behind those walls. Do others have these thoughts of self-doubts? Is this marriage in trouble? Are these kids in crisis? Does this household know Jesus? As I ponder these things I start to realize we live in hurting world that needs Jesus. My focus becomes others and less about self. When this happens I realize I doubt myself less and am able to discern the lies going on in my head.

Yet something unique happened on this walk. Between houses and between mailboxes as I walked the sun peaked up over the horizon and the most brilliant colors started penetrating the otherwise black sky. As I watched this masterpiece unfold - seemingly just for me - I heard that stirring in my spirit that only the Holy Spirit can create - and it said... "Beware. Warfare is all around you. Satan is trying to take you down. I will protect you. But you need to be vigilant for you and for your family."

Oh friends, warfare is all around us. Grouchy kids. Irritable spouses. Financial problems. All of these can be orchestrated for the purposes of taking our focus away from Jesus and from others. When this happens we place it all on ourselves and ultimately we - as a body- become tired and lethargic.

Join me in recognizing it for what it is. It is not "life" as many of us commonly refer to it. It is Satan and his attempts at distracting us from the Joy life is meant to bring. Join me in praying for protection from the warfare and for the joy of life to return to you as it did to me through a ray of sunshine!

Postlogue: The next morning I went for a similar walk. But this one was for prayer. I specifically wanted to lift up my young son in prayer as he has really been the recipient of much of the warfare. We could easily say it is because he is 4 and that is what 4 year olds do... but I know him better. God has given him more potential than this. After the reminder that warfare is all around us I pleaded with the Holy Spirit to provide protection from this for the next 24 hours so we could see the difference. And amazingly - and predictably- the next 24 hours were one of seeing joy again in our little boy's life. Shouldn't we be praying this daily? Won't you join me?

Make it Count!

It is amazing how much God speaks to me through my conversations with others. Recently I was having a conversation with a friend who has recently come through some very challenging health situations. This health situation was so severe that should it have gone undetected, he would have died suddenly without warning. Fortunately, he had some minor symptoms and upon investigation the problem was detected, corrected, and removed. Sounds simple huh? Well there were major surgeries, months of rehab and countless changes in lifestyle required to make this healing occur over the course of the last 6 months. All the while this person was off of work and out of commission in his home, many many people picked up the extra work and attended to his needs so he could focus solely on recovery. Suffice it to say it was like a ripple effect. Even my wife, kids and friends sacrificed something for this man because I chose to put in extra hours at work to cover the load of his absence.

Now he is back at work. For all purposes no one would know any different - by observing him - you may assume he doesn't even know any difference. Same attitude, same work performance, but shy a few inches from his waistline. Yet I fear lack of discipline will be this persons demise. You see, the doctors have ordered a strict diet and exercise change to make the healing last. Yet it is disconcerting to me to see that he continues in his old ways eating the same foods and acting in such a way that nothing ever happened. As I watched him eat, I jokingly chided him about what he was consuming. Then I realized I was more than joking... I was downright upset. But why was I upset? As I analyzed it I realized I was upset because I felt cheated. I personally sacrificed for his recovery. Even my family - indirectly - sacrificed for his recovery. The Doctors, nurses and rehab workers all sacrificed immensely for his recovery. Not to mention his own wife, kids, family, and other friends... collectively 1000s of man-hours were spent directly and 1000s more spend indirectly to literally save and redeem this man's life from death's early grip. But he seems now not to care. Well, I suppose he cares. At least he says he does. He says the right words. He says "Thank You." And he tells us how reflective he is and how much this has changed his viewpoint of life. Yet words without action seem empty and useless. I mean if it hasn't changed his viewpoint enough that he's willing to alter his diet or exercise then he really hasn't gone through enough of a viewpoint change. At present state, none of the sacrifice really seems to matter.

I decided that I cared enough about this person that I must share my thoughts with him. I told him about my joking... and the honesty behind it. I shared with him the sense of violation I felt not to mention how is wife must feel when she sees his unaltered state of lifestyle choices. My parting words to him were this... "If you really cared about what people did for you while you were laid up and recovering, don't just tell us... show us. Make it count by changing your behaviors."

As I heard myself say these words it was as if the Holy Spirit descended upon me, took control of my mouth, and opened the ears of my heart. He was saying to me... "don't just tell me you're thankful for my Son's sacrifice... show me. Make it count by changing your behaviors." Needless to say, I've been wrestling with the Spirit the last few days trying to Make it Count... by changing my behaviors to show HIM I'm eternally grateful!

God bless my friends... please pray for my friend as well that in this temporal world, he will make the choices necessary to show the others he is thankful for their sacrifice.

The Disappointment of Rejection

Recently someone I really admire stepped out in faith trying to make a difference in the world. This person decided to open their home to a member of their family who came from lesser circumstances and offered them a new way of life. This nephew was provided with free room and board, a credit card of his own, a new car, a sizable monthy allowance for spending money, all in a surban environment to finish their high school years in a 4 star school system. Now the nephew was asked to sign a contract of sorts. The agreement was that he had to maintain a certain GPA, have some daily tasks within the household like lawn mowing and putting away his own laundry. Suffice it to say it wasn't a "free ride" but it was a chance to hone his self-discipline skills and excape some of the entitlement mentality he'd been raised with. Additionally, my friend even made the incentive offer that upon graduation with a successful GPA, he would pay for the first 2 years of college! This seems like too good of an offer to be true doesn't it!

Now let me take you to the end of the story. The nephew has moved out and rejected the lifestyle (and its ammenities) that were offered to him. Why is that? Because the discipline it required was too great and his pension for immediate pleasure trumped the perceived benefits of the offer made to him. Witnessing the disappointment of my friend is really disturbing. He was trying to do right and make a difference, but someone told him "no" to his offer.

Why am I even talking about this here? Well it was a great spiritual application for me.

1. On one level, how many people have rejected the life-giving gift of Jesus and all the rewards that come along with it. And how must God feel when His children reject his gift? I'm sure He's much more heartbroken than my friend - as it's not just a lifestyle decision, it truly is a life or death decision His children are making. When He was willing to give it all - and pay for our life - not just college - how disappointed He must feel when we arrogantly say no because of immediate pleasure seeking.
2. On a second level, how many times have I rejected God's daily offer to help me or to lead me? My arrogance of believing I can do it all myself leads me into daily disappointment. When my task list remains at the end of the day I'm disappointed because I'm not productive as I planned. And even when it is completely checked off, I may have never accomplished a single thing that God wanted me to that day. How disappointing is this?

If you have never accepted God's gift or if you have blatantly rejected it... I urge you to realize you - like my friend's nephew - may be passing up on the deal of a lifetime... literally.

Secondly, if you have already accepted this gift, join me in realizing every day is set aside with the perfect amount of time to accomplish what God instructs us to... but maybe if you find your self out of time... you (like I) may have rejected God's offer to help us order our days.

Either way... you can avoid being a disappointment... will you?

Day 88 - Nearly the End!

OK... so I haven't been good about posting as I'm reading but I am nearly finished with this 90 day reading schedule and have nearly completed the Bible in 90 days! It has been amazing and fast. I must admit I don't enjoy this rate of consumption and it has occasionally given me indigestion. I need to slow down, to chew on it and sometimes return to it several times before I officially feel full.

After reading the Bible cover to cover I don't presume to be able to summarize everything God has taught me... but here are a few.

• HE can always be trusted.
• HE will always provide for my needs (but not always my wants).
• ALL things work together for His purposes... ALL Things!
• HE is always speaking to me... it is me who chooses to listen (or not!)
• I really stink at relational prayer with God... though I'm quite good at giving him my list of demands!
• Though the world seems out of control right now... HE is always in control.
• I need Him... now, today and every day!

One of the disciplines I've enjoyed from this experience is the process of journaling on-line. This blog has been an accountability tool (Thanks Dr. Matt for keeping me honest and on track) as well as a self-reflection exercise. I've always been told to speak as if you're being recorded and write as if it may be published... in some regards this is the purpose of this journal. I am being recorded and published and most importantly I'm pouring my thoughts out to God and his image(s) here on Earth - which is YOU!

For that reason, I've changed the name of my blog.... You'll notice it is not called "Hearing God's Voice." The 90 days may have ended... but God has so much more to say... Stay Tuned. He's only just begun.

August 12 - Day 79

If you are reading this and seeing the amazing gap between July 27 and now you'll realize I haven't done very good about keeping up with blog posts. Something about international travel, jetlag, returning to the routine AND preparing for Baby #3 has just not afforded me the mindspace I needed.

Reflect on that last comment... how often to you find yourself saying things like this? I once heard a speaker talking about economics... and he was talking about the shift in consumerism in the postmodern era. His phrase was "people afford what they value." I suppose this captures my heart a little more lately.

You see, I've been keeping up on my reading. I've been doing it religiously. I value completing this goal in the 90 days. Yet, I haven't been doing my reading as a means for relationship - of finding Jesus in my daily time in the Word. If I haven't afforded the mindspace to find a relationship with Him, then I suppose it would mean that I don't value a relationship with Him. And how harsh does that sound?

Harsh but true... lately I've been flying on my own managing most priorities. Yet I always seem to be behind and tired. I don't feel proactive at all nor do I really feel productive. I'm sure it is because I left Him out of it.

A friend recently loaned me a Book on CD which I've listened to intensely over the last few days. It has really helped me realize this void in my life and how easily it was to quit looking for relationship and fall into the way of "religion." I highly recommend it...

http://www.amazon.com/Shack-Special-Hardcover-William-Young/dp/0964729245/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1218570588&sr=8-1

July 26-27; Days 63-64

Daniel 1-Hosea 14

The book of Daniel contains many things... stories from the past that provide encouragement and visions of the future that scare the pants off of me...

I was reading of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego in the fiery furnace and realized it is a not just a story. It is a picture of what is happening today in our world. We are all walking around a fiery furnace. We've been put here because of our rebellion. We've rebelled against God and made some bad choices resulting in Satan's domain being increased in our everyday world. Yet the challenge is because the heat is slowly constantly being turned up we don't realize it is getting hotter and hotter nor the danger we are in. But just as the three men were protected by a 4th we too are protected by God's grace and the Holy Spirit with us today. Yet we cannot see our protector. The fact that we aren't burned by the sin run rampant around is is evidence enough that He exists. He has not yet given us completely over to our own selfish ambition. He is still walking around with us... and not a hair on our head should be burned as long as He is still present.

Later in Daniel 9 when I read Daniel's prayer I began to weep. "We have sinned and done wrong. We have been wicked and have rebelled; we have turned away from your commands and laws.... " (Dan 9:5) Is this not like today. Should this not be my prayer everyday? "Now, our God, hear the prayers and petitions of your servant. For your sake, O Lord, look with favor on your desolate sanctuary. Give ear, O God, and hear; open your eyes and see the desolation...."(Dan 9:17) Let this be not just a written prayer, but the cry of my heart today and always.

I mentioned earlier that parts of Daniel scare me. I know God will provide and He is in control. However, I don't claim to understand all of what Daniel's vision contains. Yet I do read that there will be lots of suffering and strife. This is what scares me. Daniel 12 records some of Daniels thoughts which are my own as I read this.... "I heard but I did not understand, so I asked, "My lord what will be the outcome of this?"" (Dan 12:8) "From the time that the daily sacrifice is abolished and the abomination that causes desolation is set up, there will be 1290 days. Blessed is the one who waits for and reaches the end of the 1335 days. AS for you, go your way till the end. You will rest, and then at the end of the days you will rise to receive your alloted inheritance." (Dan 12:11-13). Press on my friend. Strive to reach the end and we'll receive our inheritances together.

July 24-25; Days 61-62

Ezequiel 24-48



Let me set the context for this posting. I just arrived in Australia for a business trip. A grueling 24 travel experience to get here... but I'm here safely. It seems no matter when I travel some of my best "thinking time" comes on the plane as I'm aware that I'm apart from my family and will not be rejoining them soon. It causes me to be self-reflective and sometimes somewhat morose. This travel experience was no different.

Then I turned to the Bible to for comfort and wisdom as I pursued the reading for these days....
Wrong passages to look for comfort from. Ezequiel receives visions and pronounces judgement on all of Israels enemies and neighbors. Their waywardness and treatment of the nation of Israel have caused God to pronounce their demise. Yet toward the end of Ezequiel I see the promises toward Israel. Despite their wickedness and waywardness, God still promises to bring them back together and to protect them despite their past. He calls them - through Ezequiel - back to their roots... the division of the land, the calling of Levites as priests, instructions for the temple... etc.

What I gain from this is the steadfastness of our Creator. No matter where we may go, He is always there. He never left Israel. They moved. Their suffering and depravity was a result of their choices. Not God's will. Everything He did, he did with the expressed purposes of bringing them back to Him. Is it not the same today? When we feel afraid or are experiencing suffering is it because we've moved away from God? And perhaps it is because no matter what, He is acting - even in the midst of suffering - to move closer to him.

So While I'm now about 9000 miles from home - on the other side of the earth from my family I have moved. But God has not. As my heart aches to be reunited with my family this momentary suffering is enabling me to get closer to God to feel his presence in a way that I haven't been able to in the past few weeks. On the plane I actually shed some tears as I was reading this. Realizing that - though my suffering wasn't the same as the suffering that Israel went through - it is still real and God is still talking to me. I began talking a back to Him and what do you know... I feel his presence again. Even 9000 miles from "home." Our God is a great big God who cares for us in itty bitty ways!

July 21-23; Days 58,59,60

Lamentations 1- Ezequiel 23

Lord, as I move into reading Ezequiel , I reminded (and encouraged) by the fact that you grant us visions for the future. Certainly as in Ezequiel's case we cannot always understand what these visions mean nor can we accurately describe them using mere human language. Thus when I read these passages I can't always understand exactly what you've revealed to Ezequiel.

My present "funk" that I'm in is because of a lack of vision. I feel that I'm just wandering in life right now. I'm not really enjoying my present occupation like I used to. As I prepare to go on an international trip for work, my heart aches for leaving my family. I don't feel as if I'm living up to my role as a father or husband in being the priest of our household. These things leave me susceptible for believing the lies Satan is throwing at me. My precious wife recently reminded me of that.

Lord help recreate in me a vision for how you want me to serve you. Though I may not understand it nor accurately be able to describe it, please... make it unmistakable that it is from you - and only you. . . how I need and want to hear from you now.

July 15-20; Days 52-57

Is 41 - Jere 47

If you're reading this its obvious I took some time off from posting on my blog. I'm still current on the reading but between vacation schedule and a generally poor attitude lately I was just not making time to put up a posting. Besides this content is especially difficult for me to understand. In my last posting I purposed to stop worrying about the future to enjoy the present... but here in the Prophets, its all about the future - doom and gloom sprinkled with some amazing promises.

Sure, verse by verse there are some amazing promises that God has used to speak to me during this reading. But as I'm reading I'm trying to decide what is the macro picture here? What is God trying to tell me? Blessings for obedience and curses for disobedience. Maybe that is it?

What I find myself wondering the most is what would it have been like to be either Isaiah or Jeremiah. Particularly Jeremiah. We often quote the verse from Jeremiah that tells us God knew us before he formed us in the womb. It makes us feel important and wanted - and it should. But think about Jeremiah. God knew that his life's purpose was to bring bad news to people and share with them a message that they wouldn't obey- all before he was created in the womb. We later see Jeremiah questioning why he was even born... why hadn't he been killed in the womb? Something sadistic perhaps, but I can identify with his pain in the present attitude I've been carrying around.

Let me be a little more transparent than I've been... I'm the only remaining son of a long generation of farmers. Yet to date, I've chosen not to return to the farm. Yet there is something inside of me that wants the lifestyle but not sure that I'm cut out to be a full time farmer. Each year that passes I feel like a bigger and bigger disappointment to my parents. I enjoy my present job and lifestyle and am not ready to give it up for something uncertain and unknown. So there are many times when I've agonized with God... why me? Why did you chose this for me? Why don't you just make it clear to me what I'm supposed to do? Maybe my thoughts haven't ever gone as far as Jeremiah in thinking "Why was I ever born?" yet I have been having a bit of a pity party lately. The consequence of this is that I've not been the husband or father that God wants me to be. I'm not being obedient to the blessings He has given me because of worry for the things that I've not yet known.

So the life of Jeremiah had to be tough... constantly receiving messages from God that is not popular with the culture and even when delivered didn't see much change in the culture... he was even punished for his messages. My life is nothing compared to that. Yet I'm not being obedient and am not being the leader in my family.

God knew me before I was born and knew the struggles I would face. He knew it would take those struggles to make me more like Him. It is my choice to face the challenges as opportunities to bring Him glory or to have a pity party. If Jeremiah could persist in his challenges... so can I!

July 12-14; Days 49, 50, 51

Isaiah 1 - 42

I was wondering when it was going to happen and it finally did. I've reached the point at which this has become a task and not part of letting God speak to me. I'm facing burnout of reading the Bible, but I'm so afraid to get behind and really want to finish. So admittedly this post has very little to do with the passage and more to do with me...

I'm sure it has something to do with my heart attitude. My heart is very heavy. I realized it when I was reading Ecclesiastes and actually enjoyed it because I also felt so much the same! My heart has been worried about the future and I've almost missed living in the present... all because I've been focused on the past. I've consumed my heart and mind with worry and pushed God and his Word out of my life.... what a silly thing to do.. Let me describe....

Last week we went to visit family over the 4th of July. Then we went to my parents' house and stayed with them for a few days while we attended the county fair where I grew up. We watched my nephew show animals in 4-H something I used to do while growing up. Its not uncommon for me to leave these visits from my parents a little melancholy. I long for a stronger relationship with my family. I long for the "lifestyle" I used to enjoy growing up in the country. Yet coming away from this visit I was a little more than melancholy. I was and still am a little bit what I would call "homesick." But what makes me homesick. Is it missing what was... or hoping that I could have that again?

I can't quite figure it out. I have prayed several nights since I've been home for God to help me figure it out. Yet, I'm not sure how... at the same time I'm worrying about the future I run the risk of enjoying the present. You see, me and my family are on vacation this week. We are enjoying a week away. Camping out and visiting an amusement park. I visited the park today with the kids and my wife and while we were there I was so preoccupied with what was going through my head I almost missed the joy of watching my children experience the rides for the first time.

How often is it like this in the world. We 're so worried about the future that we can't enjoy the present? Well I think this is where the overlap comes with the Bible readings for the last several days. Isaiah was just a normal man willing to follow God's leading. And he was a man that found it impossible to focus on the present because God kept giving him pictures of what the future was going to look like. So Isaiah had to go around and tell people about how bleak the future looked even though in the present they thought he was kind of strange.

I'm certainly no Isaiah. I'm not called to tell people about doom and gloom - at least not yet. But I do know there is a lot in the present I want to enjoy and there is a lot in the future that I'm uncertain of. The only thing I can do is to purpose to live each day more purposely. By asking God to order my short term steps, I'm trusting he'll order them in such a way that leads me to figure out the future... and instead of figuring it out - I hope I'll just enjoy the moment when it happens....

But for now, I've got to go... tomorrow we're going to a water park with the kids and I don't want to miss a moment.

July 11; Day 48

Song of Songs

I can't wait to read Pastor Gary's blog on this book! It ought to be good. Lilies, pomegranites, doves, gazelles, fawns, etc... why is it these words hold so much intrigue and passion. It is because it causes us to invoke the imagination. Instead of saying your breasts are large.... the writer is describing them invoking imagination. The word pictures are fascinating and as a man I have to be careful how much I think about them, lest I get nothing else done today. But let's reflect on this in our own marriages?

• But why is it that I don't talk to my wife like this today?
• How often am I invoking Nicole's imagination in the conversations I have with her? Am I merely describing details or am I asking her to associate two seemingly unrelated things in a new and exciting way?
• Why don't I take time to tell her what I admire about her (and even lust after occasionally)? God created us to love and be enamored with each other. I remember times when we were dating that I used to behave this way - on occasion - but not as a routine matter of behavior.
• What would it do for our marriage if I were to compliment her more and encourage her more and spice up our relationship more?

The bottom line is I've let life get in the way of really living. I've let our conversations remain on the transactional stuff of life (because there is so much of it) and not get into the imaginative stuff of our relationship.

Just recently we re-instituted the concept of "date night" in our marriage. One night a month where we go out just the two of us and do something that we wouldn't normally do. Going to a nice dinner or even to a improv show, these are all things that we've done. It's not so much the event at hand as it is the ability we have to talk about stuff other than "life." While I've even squandered away this opportunity to go deeper in conversation these moments have brought about a sort of "renewal" to our marriage. With the impending birth of our 3rd baby, I pray we will continue this discipline.

I encourage you as I have been encouraged today to start dating your spouse again. Let it start with your words, followed by your actions... and let's see what comes next..... Gazelles leaping in the lilies perhaps????? :)

July 11; Day 48

Ecclesiastes

Carpe Diem... I remember this phrase from the movie "Dead Poet's Society" but it is also the phrase that rings in my head as I read in Ecclesiastes. King Solomon is writing this. He's accumulated more wealth and possessions that any other king at the time. Presumably he is the Warren Buffet or Bill Gates of the day. (Except for the fact that God has given him immeasurable wisdom as well....) Yet, here we read about how pursuit of pleasure is meaningless and how working is meaningless and how even wisdom is meaningless. It seems that all is meaningless and in desperation. So you could leave this book thinking... then what is the purpose of life, why go on living?

I've struggled like this in the past. Even some in the present. Whether it be world events escalating and rumors of wars and nuclear threats in the middle east increasing or trying to figure out if I ever want to return to my family's farm or continue working in a job I know I love, I wonder "what is it all mean anyway... why go on living?" I found myself even the other day thinking, "Lord come quickly because that is the only thing that matters!"

Isn't that what Solomon is trying to get us to realize here... that the only thing that matters is the pursuit of God and obedience to His commands. Everything is meaningless if we do it following our own desires. Yet the same thing can be truly meaningful if it is done out of obedience to God's commands. Is pleasure meaningless? Not unless it is the continual pursuit of pleasure we're after. Is wisdom meaningless? Solomon says that with much wisdom comes much sorrow, the more knowledge the more grief. (Eccl 1:18) so the more we know the more we recognize we don't know but it is meaningless only if we pursue it on our own and not use the wisdom to serve God. Solomon tells us there is a time for everything... and the most important thing he tells us is in Eccl 2:14: "I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing will be added to it and nothing taken from it." Even more pointedly he tells us in Eccl 12:13: "Now all has been heard, here is the conclusion of the matter; Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man."

This book is rich... it helps me in so many ways. Yet it really helps me realize that I need to "seize the day"... not on my own - but with the Lord's direction. Obedience to his commands is the only thing that is not meaningless. So why is it so hard to obey his commands. For me it is because I'm not taking time to hear them. I'm too busy striving on my own for everything that is meaningless because I am doing it on my own. I need to reorder my day to hear from him daily and take his commands into my day. Thus helping my day not be meaningless.

Carpe diem my friend... seize the day with meaning!

July 9,10 Days 46 & 47

Proverbs 1-31

While packed with punch there are so many nuggets of wisdom in the Proverbs that I have a hard time reading them this quickly. I want to stop and ponder each of them. Yet pondering doesn't move the knowledge into application. As a whole when I read the Proverbs I gain the contrast between good an evil. Sometimes good is referred to as prudent, wise, honorable, honest, diligent... and sometimes evil is referred to as dishonest, foolish, wicked, mockery, etc... yet it is the contrast between good and evil that exists. So what defines "good" and "evil?" Simply speaking it is the reliance on God and his Laws that defines good... and conversely anything other than this defines evil. So the application for you and I is this? How reliant are we on God and His laws? Are we trying to earn our way into goodness? Or are we relying on Him to change us into good? Otherwise we're just evil.


Secondly, as I read the Proverbs the ones that really speak to me are those that have to do with family, husbands or wives. Probably because I've not been living up to the standard God has set for me in this area. He is speaking to me through these proverbs to convict me of the many blessings He has given me and my responsibility in stewarding them. I wrapped up the reading yesterday with this conviction...

Proverbs 19:14... "Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the Lord."
I certainly have a prudent wife. She completes our family and sacrificially makes our house a home. It is worth every penny in income we've given up to have her taking care of our family full time and cementing us together with her love. While I've inherited many things from my parents... I can truly say that my wife is a gift from the Lord. I don't deserve her and yet God knew exactly what I needed. This Proverb brought me conviction because while I'm telling you this on my blog, I've not expressed it directly to my wife yet. I often overlook the "small stuff" for the sake of the "big stuff" Yet the challenge is that I define the "small stuff" as these words of encouragement and acts of service... and yet this is what she defines as the "big stuff" Take time today to tell those around you the blessings they are to your life. Hopefully by the time my wife reads this, she will have already heard it from me directly!

And as I concluded today's reading, I received further conviction from Proverbs 31... as I truly have a Proverbs 31 wife...

• vs 11: Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value...
• vs 12: She brings him good and not harm, all the days of her life...
• vs 13 She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. (OK, so this is a little different for our day and age, but she still diligently and economically clothes and feeds our family and make the most of our budget... and she is a tremendous cook to boot!)
• vs 15: She gets up while it is still dark she provides food for the family and portions for her servant girls.... (this morning as I was taking a shower, the first thing she did was start pre-treating the laundry for wash... so she could multi-task through her day and accomplish all of the tasks at hand)
• vs 17: she sets about her work vigorously her arms are strong for her tasks... (she never complains and long after I've tired of an evening she is still preparing food for the next day or cleaning the house... her job and commitment to our family never ends)
• vs 18: She sees that her trading is profitable and her lamp does not go out at night. (Whether it be on "EBay" or "Craig's List" she is always swapping used things we don't want for used things we need saving us money. Also, clipping and using coupons and only buying food that is on sale makes our grocery budget go farther... sometimes saving over $100 per shopping trip! These small things enable us to enjoy other blessings we wouldn't otherwise be able to such as our upcoming vacation next week... )
• vs. 27: She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.

So with that, I want to close this blog posting with a tribute to my wife... also from Proverbs 31: 29-30

"Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all. Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."

-- Thank you sweetie, for making our house a home and for Loving the Lord with all your heart.